"Leave?" she says, her brows furrowed.
"Yes. You don't have to wait for the right moment to escape. I'll literally escort you out the door." The words are hard to say. But it's the right thing to do. As much as I want her, as much as I envisioned a future with her, I won't be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about me.
That is nothing but limerence. It isn't the love I thought it was.
"I'm not leaving, Bardil," she says in disbelief.
"What do you mean you're not leaving. Why stay? There is nothing more to gain here. All of this was a horrible mistake," I growl.
"Why stay? Can you really not see?"
"See what?" I snap.
She stands up and takes a slow breath.
"I'm not leaving. I'm choosing to stay of my own free will. And you are blind if you don't get what that means," she says calmly.
I sit staring at her. Her words hang in the air between us, and I wait for them to make sense to me. It can't mean what I want it to mean. Can it?
I'm delusional. I'm confused.
Every fiber of my body begins to flood with hope, but then immediately drowns in panic. No. It doesn't mean what I want it to mean. I don't understand what she's trying to say, but I know one thing for sure. I have never been lucky in life. I am not lucky enough to have a girl like her choose me. To love me. To be with me.
Standing up, I shake my head, and no matter the thousand thoughts racing through my mind, I can't find a single thing to say to her, so I walk out.
***
The next morning, I'm still too scared to believe what my heart spent all night telling me is the only possible explanation for her staying…
On my way to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, I overhear her on the phone.
I stop outside her bedroom door, out of sight, listening in, leaning with my shoulder against the wall and my arms folded over my chest. Luckily, she has the phone on speaker so I can hear both sides of the conversation between her and her brother.
"No, I'm safe here." She is speaking calmly.
"Just tell us where you are, at least," Diomid says.
"I can't do that, Diomid. But you need to trust me that I'm perfectly fine where I am. I promise you."
"Why don't you just come home?" he huffs.
"Because I don't want to. Please understand."
"I'll understand if you at least give me the address of his property. That way, if anything goes wrong, I will know where to find you," Diomid asks again for her location.
I was going to have her brothers fetch her, so I have no expectation of her keeping this place a secret anymore.
She sighs and speaks with reassurance to her brother. "Dio, I'm not giving you the address, ok. I'm sorry. I just called to give you this number so you can call me anytime, but Iamstaying, and I expect you to respect that."
"Dammit, Nikita. I don't understand you, but ok."
"Please pass the message on to everyone else?"
"I will. They won't be happy, though."
She's busy saying goodbye, and I'm too stunned to move.
When I hear her stand up, it snaps me out of my trance and has me spinning back toward my own room, half jogging down the hallway to avoid her catching me.
