Marching inside, I'm almost certain I'll find her gone, escaped.
But instead, I find her curled into the smallest ball in the center of her bed. I rush to her side and sit next to her. "Nikita?" I ask, touching her waist. The blankets are pulled up over her shoulder, and to my horror, she's shivering badly.
I roll her onto her back so I can see her face.
Her skin is pale and clammy with sweat. I brush my hand across her forehead. "Little rabbit, you're sick!" I say in horror. "Why didn't you call me?"
She rolls back onto her side, turning her back toward me again.
"Are you hungry? Can I make you some tea?" I ask.
"I don't want anything from you, Bardil. Please leave me alone," she mutters quietly. Her voice sounds weak. I reach out and brush my hand over her arm, gently squeezing.
"I'm coming back in a minute. Don't worry, Kita, you're not alone anymore," I whisper.
Rushing out of her room, I grab some painkillers, thinking her body must be aching with fever. I get a bottle of still water from the fridge and make a cup of tea. I also find a box of plain vanilla biscuits in the pantry. Maybe I can convince her to eat these and then make her something more substantial later.
Going past the bathroom, I get a washcloth and soak it in cold water, then fold it to place on her head.
Back in her room, I set everything down on her bedside table. Sitting on her bed, I gently pull her onto her back again, and she groans, too weak to fight me.
"Sit up a little, sweetheart," I coax her. She doesn't argue. I don't think she has the strength. I lift her with my hand on her back, then push two pillows behind her so she can be comfortable while she drinks something. And hopefully eats a little.
She leans against the pillow wall, breathing as though she's in pain. When I place the washcloth over her forehead, she sighs with relief and reaches up to push the cool fabric against her skin.
"Where does it hurt?" I ask, touching her face. She places her hand over her stomach and grimaces. "And my head. Actually, my whole body," she sighs.
I take her hand and place two Panadol into her palm. "Take these. It'll help. And drink some water. You're probably dehydrated."
She sighs softly but takes the pills and sips water from the bottle.
I can't convince her to eat, though. When I offer her a biscuit, she almost turns green and has to look away.
Nikita's eyes fill with tears of frustration that break my heart. I shift closer to her on the bed and wrap my arm around her shoulders.
"It's ok, little rabbit. Close your eyes again. Give the Panadol some time to help you."
She briefly wants to fight me, to push me away, but she has nothing in her, so she rests her cheek against my chest andcloses her eyes. My fingers brush through her hair, slowly and methodically.
"Try and rest some more. I'm right here with you," I whisper.
Nikita takes a deep, slow breath. Her body softens in my arms, giving in to me.
Chapter 16 - Nikita
At first, I'm determined not to let him near me. I don't care if I'm dying, I don't want anything from him. I think his fake kindness is only another manipulation. Another way to get what he wants out of me.
But when he speaks with such tenderness, and he touches me so gently, I can't help but read sincerity into his actions.
I take the pills and drink the water, grateful because I desperately needed them but couldn't find the strength to get up and fetch anything.
Bardil pulls me against his chest and gently coaxes me to rest my cheek on him.
Sighing, I can't deny that I need this. I need this care. I'm feeling so utterly broken and alone, and the past few days have been the worst days of my life.
I'm scared to let my heart think he's kind, but I can't help it.
And right now, it doesn't matter. I'm too sick.
