No one else has reached out or tried to reconnect with me. Simon is making an effort. I like to think it's about more than his lame attempt to find out if I had the girl or not. I like to hope thatit's because I'm his brother and he cares and wants to rebuild our relationship.
After the shower, wearing fresh, comfortable clothes, I head to the kitchen to get a snack before bed.
Nikita is there, making grilled cheese.
"Late-night snack?" I ask, making her jump. She giggles and presses her hand over her heart. Her smile makes my heart skip a beat.
"All the exercise today has been feeling like I could eat an entire pizza by myself," she grins.
"I could make pizza, if you want?"
"No, no, this is enough. Do you want one?" Her eyes are bright and beautiful when she looks up at me.
"Sure," I nod, leaning against the counter to watch her. Images flash through my mind. Stupid thoughts. Thoughts that could never be. Nikita, living with me. Us building a life together. She is the type of woman I could be with. Someone feisty and fun. A little reckless. A little wild. Someone up for a challenge and an adventure.
"Do you want ham?" she asks.
"Huh?" I blurt out, pulling myself back to reality.
"Ham?" She holds up the packet.
"Oh, yes, thanks."
I watch her for a while longer, then decide I should tell her about tomorrow.
"Listen, I'm going to be out for a bit tomorrow. Not long. And I won't be far."
"Oh, where are you going?"
"Not far," I say again, narrowing my eyes. I'd rather she thinks I'm close and still have my eyes on her.
"Ok, well, I guess… that's ok. Not that I had a say in anything," she says, rolling her eyes.
I press my lips together, sensing the tension. It's a sharp reminder of the dynamics between us. She's my prisoner, not anything else. Today made it easy to forget for a moment.
***
It's still dark outside, well before dawn, when I leave the cabin, locking the door securely behind me.
I want to get going and get this over with so I can get back as soon as possible. I'm incredibly anxious about leaving her alone here, but where's she going to go? There's literally nowhere for her to escape to. And after the incident with the bear, I highly doubt she's going to venture out there alone again. She doesn't strike me as being a stupid girl.
Driving alone is when I do most of my thinking, and all the way back to Miami, my head is busy. Most of the thoughts are intrusive ideas that I push away. Ideas about Nikita that shouldn't even be in my head. I try my best to focus only on the task that lies ahead for this morning. Seeing my brother again has me on edge. But he's still my brother, no matter what.
Simon's guys are busy loading the last of the goods into the truck when I walk into the warehouse. It's strange to be back here, although it's instantly familiar.
When my brother sees me, a massive smile breaks across his face.
"Bardil," he grins, walking over to me. I'm about to hold out my hand to shake his, but he grabs me into a hug. "Fuck, it's good to see you!" Simon says.
My reservations and wariness are still in full force, but I return the hug, slapping my hand against his back. "You too, Simon. It's been way too long," I say.
He pulls away and punches my shoulder. "You look good. Healthy. Whatever holiday you were on must've been good for you," he remarks.
An image of Nikita flashes through my mind.Good for me.
"Any holiday is good," I say. "So, are we ready to hit the road?"
"We are, I'll drive."
