Instead of giving him an answer about the dresser which I've definitely drenched, I admit something else to both of them. "I love you."
Tears fill my eyes as theirs widen with joy and surprise. Both men surround me, reach for me, and cradle me.
"I love you," they say together and separately over and over again. A fewI'm sorry's get mixed in, making my heart ache with the guilt and pain that will linger for a while for all of us. But if we keep talking, keep touching and connecting, keeplearningabout each other, we'll persevere. Just like I have.
Forty-Four
JAMIE
Ihave never, not once in my thirty years, been this fucking nervous to see my parents. Even the time they found out about me sneaking out in high school doesn't reach this level of nerves.
There are a few reasons for my anxiety. One being Violet has had a lot of fucking stress this year. It's almost spring and we're only now finding our new normal.
We're great. Things are moving forward but what if this brings us back a few big steps? Of course all four of us have days where we're stuck in our feelings and memories. As a team we've figured out how to help and when to give each other some space.
Ellis struggles with guilt, but his need to apologize is diminishing every day which we're all thankful for. He needs reassurance that we aren't still mad at him.
Nate is the same way, but he shows that need by lingering around and hovering. He's definitely become a touch oriented man, needing physical reassurance.
Violet tends to retreat when she's struggling, but shealwayslets us in. More often than not lately, she hides out in the room Ellis created for her at their house. We're both spending less and less time at our apartments too.
Which brings me to the other reason for my bouncing knee. My parents, who don't know about my men, are meeting Violet here at Nate and Ellis' house.
Violet suggested it very gently. She didn't pressure me to make this choice, but the push was there to think about it. Not once did she say anything about introducing Nate and Ellis as my boyfriends or even having them here, but I know she wanted me to think.
What I have with Violet is forever. I have no issue or hesitation about my parents meeting her. She's mine. I just hope she's okay.
Nate and Ellis on the other hand...that changes things. My parents don't know about this dynamic, and I'm not sure how they'll feel about it. Will they judge me? Maybe treat the three of them poorly?
I don't think so.
But if they meet Nate and Ellis, I need to be sure. Am I sure?
"They're here. Just pulled in!" Violet shouts, skipping into the kitchen. Nate and Ellis have made themselves scarce in Nate's garage. They were incredibly understanding about the fact that I wasn't sure I was ready to introduce them.
I got two deep kisses and a slap on the ass from them as they left a bit ago. They told me they love me and my tongue got stuck to the roof of my mouth. Do I love them? I know I forgive them. Am I ready to dive all in?
"Okay," I acknowledge, and take a deep breath.
Violet bounces on her toes and plays with the soft black sweater she has on. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you really don't want me to meet your parents."
She's teasing, but I still swoop in and kiss her with all the feelings I possess. When I pull away, her eyes are sparkling and her lips are swollen. "I love you so much. They already love you too. I'm excited to finally see you all together."
"Love you, too," she whispers.
The doorbell rings, and she's back to skipping around me as I head to the front door. I'm honestly incredibly surprised by the amount of energy and happiness she's exuding.
With the door handle in one hand and Violet's hand in the other, I open the door to my parents’ smiling faces. "Welcome," I greet and swoop my mom into a hug. Violet immediately releases me and opens the door wider to usher them inside.
"You must be my daughter-in-law," Mom squeals and shoves me away to get to Violet. I close the door and try to stay out of their way.
My dad laughs at Violet's shocked expression and gives me a hug as mom clings to V. "Hey son. You doing okay?"
His gaze is curious and all knowing. He knows something's up, obviously, because we're in a house he's never been to or heard of before. Not to mention all of our cars are in the driveway.
"I'm good," I reassure him and clear my throat. "Thirsty?"
"Water please," he requests, then studiously ignores me in favor of Violet. "Hi, sweetheart. We're so happy to meet you. Jamie hasn't shut up about you for a long time."
