Hmm, she wants me to show her my tattoo and what I'm working on in exchange for a play-by-play of her time with Nate's mom.
"Be back in ten," I blurt and rush out of the room.
I'm done in five. My anxiety pushed me through my routine much faster than planned. I'm grateful because when I enter the kitchen, I just about choke on the tension in the room.
Nate and Violet are sitting beside each other at the island, but neither are looking at one another. It's clear they've been talking about something important, and judging by the way Nate's shoulders are bent forward, he's struggling.
Wanting to be respectful, I make my steps a little heavier so they hear me coming. Nate glances up at me and gives me a pained smile. Violet's still staring at the countertop, reigniting my worry for her once again.
"Violet?" I mutter and place my elbows on the counter in front of her. "Want to tell me what’s going on?"
I'm feeling exceptionally pushy today, but who can blame me? The woman I love and need to grovel to walked into my home like she belongs here. She does, no doubt about it, but I thought it would be like pulling teeth to get her anywhere near me again.
She sniffles, but I don't notice any fresh tears on her face. "Tina was very supportive and understanding. It has made me very emotional."
Glancing at Nate, I see him cringe. I'll need to ask him about his side of the story later because he looks like he experienced something traumatic today too.
"She apologized tome. I thought she would hate me for how I abandoned you guys...She didn't."
"Whatdidshe do then?" My anxiety is pressuring me to get the answers as fast as I possibly can. If only to relieve myself of the fear making me ill.
Violet rubs her eyes with the backs of her hands. "She told me about how Nate and you dealt with my absence. She said you were very angry for a long time. Not just at me, but at the world. Anything was a trigger."
"Mhmm," I admit, swallowing and not knowing what to say. It's the truth. I became a really horrid version of myself.
"Tina mentioned that your family didn't understand or help. They love you and want happiness for you, but they couldn't quite grasp the depths of your depression."
"True as well." Tina was instrumental in my mental health journey. I have the picture perfect, wonderfully happy and loving family. But my anger, the easy shift from nonchalant to being an ass, made them pull away from me. That only made me angrier.Why couldn't anyoneseeme?I was hurting, goddamn it.
"Then," she glances at Nate, "she told me how Nate put all his focus into the relationship you two have. How he took the reins and ignored some of his own issues. Like he did growing up. Tina said Nate took care of her and the house like that was his only purpose in life."
Nate sighs, and I glance at him, knowing this must be hard to hear. "That's true too, Bubbles," I offer. "Nate's a caretaker.When you left, well all that energy and worry went all on me and making sure we stayed together. It's horrible to admit, but my anger issues gave him an excuse to ignore the awful ache of your absence."
"I'm sorry," she whispers so quietly I can hardly hear. But I do, and her words break my heart.
"We forgive you. You know that," I say honestly.
I'm glad Nate is staying quiet because I need to have some deep conversations with our woman myself too. I can't always hide behind his protectiveness or manipulate his attention because my emotions are overwhelming.
Violet nods and groans. Leaning back on the stool, she wobbles a bit, but Nate's there to steady her chair. "Thanks," she says. "Anyway, Tina gave me a lot to think about. Perspectives to consider. Can I see your tattoo now?"
A startled laugh bursts from my mouth at her abrupt change of subject but I allow it. "Sure," I say and lift my foot onto the counter. "Just let me explain before you assume okay?"
She frowns, glancing from me to the wrap on my ankle. "Okay."
Alright, here goes nothing.
Thirty-Two
JAMIE
True to her word, Violet has been doing an amazing job keeping me updated on her safety. I don't really care where she goes, just as long as I know she got there in one piece and is leaving the same way.
I can't shake the worry that festers in the back of my mind when I'm not with her. Which I'm thinking is why I feel a bit more at ease knowing she's been with Nate all afternoon.
As pissed as I am at the man, I know he will protect my woman with his life. Which, in turn, is confusing and leaves me in an odd position with my feelings. Same with Ellis. The reasoning for his tattoo damn near brought me to tears. I blocked my schedule for him that day, knowing it would be a long one. One that definitely required some reflection as I worked on it.
We had a good talk he and I. Hearing about how he's battled his anger issues all these years helped me understand him better. From what I've known, Ellis is kind of a dick who likes to pick fights. Now I'm coming to learn that he lacks control and understanding of his triggers.
