I move onto my arm. When I lick it clean, I scoop up the rest of the cum he left on my body. As I do, my other hand moves between my legs, and tries to stroke away the haunting emptiness until I come again with the taste of him on my lips and tongue.
But it’s not enough. My body aches for more. And I know nothing will ever be enough except for the real thing.
I was stupid enough to let him in, and now I might never dig him out.
30
SLAVA
I standat the floor-to-ceiling windows of my penthouse living room, watching the final remnant of the day disappear in a bloody red streak across the sky.
I press my forehead against the cool glass but it does nothing to stop me from thinking about her.
Fuck.
How the hell did everything get so fucking complicated so quickly?
I open my eyes and stare at my reflection in the glass. The man looking back at me is a stranger wearing my face. And as lights start winking into existence across New York, Don Leo’s words echo in my skull like a curse:You’re making the same mistake you made in the past.
The old bastard was right. I can see it now, laid out before me like a map of my own destruction. I’m walking down that same path as I did all those years ago. I’m letting someone in. I’m allowing myself to feel.
I’m about to open a door I welded shut for a good fucking reason.
And now, standing in the dying light of another day I don’t deserve, I can finally admit what I’ve been fighting for weeks.
I’m falling for Bella.
Not in the gentle, gradual way normal people fall, but in an utterly crushing collapse that becomes impossible to stop once the first crack appears. She’s slipped under my skin like a splinter I can’t remove, and every time I try to dig her out, all I do is push her deeper.
I should send her away. Fire her. Make up some excuse and let her know that this part of our game has ended. It’ll keep me safe, and it’ll keep her alive.
But I don’t want to.
Lucky for me, my phone rings at this exact moment to interrupt my spiraling thoughts.
I check the caller ID, and ice floods my veins. There’s only one reason I’d be getting this call.
“What happened?” I answer without preamble.
The voice on the other end is tight. “There’s been a security breach.”
“Is he?—”
“He’s safe. No injuries, no direct contact.”
My hand around the phone relaxes somewhat at the news. “Any idea who did it?”
“We’re still working on that. But suffice to say, we need you here in France immediately.”
“I’m on my way. Expect me there in about nine hours.”
“Very good. See you soon, Mr. Romanov.”
The line goes dead. Rage comes to life in my veins. I want to destroy something. I need to go now, before things get even more complicated.
I glance back at my bedroom door where she is, and I know that I can’t just leave her here. I’ve almost lost too many things today, her included. I can’t risk losing her now.
Looks like the universe is intent on forcing my hand.
