Something feels wrong.
I can't put my finger on it, but I’ve survived this long because I can pick up that specific frequency of unease humming at the edge of my awareness.
For a dangerous moment, I almost contemplate following her.
But then the moment passes, and now it’s my turn to look out the window.
44
BELLA
Alessandro isasleep in the bed at the rear of the plane.
I don’t mean to stop. My feet just do on their own, like they've decided I need to see this before I do what I'm about to do.
He looks so small in the center of the massive bed, buried under blankets, one arm thrown over his head the way children sleep when they feel completely safe. His face is slack and peaceful.
He trusts me. His father trusts me. And I'm about to?—
I try to push the thought down as soon as it surfaces, but it won't go away. I spare him one final glance, and then close the door of the bathroom behind me.
For good measure, I lock the door and stand there for a moment to gather myself for what I’m about to do.
My hands are shaking as I connect to the satellite signal. As soon as it connects, I type out my message to Nico.
I need to know I can trust you this time
His response comes back immediately.
Call me
For a long moment, I just stare at the screen.
I know that the ambient noise of the plane is loud enough to cover any conversation I might have. And the door is locked. If Slava comes looking for me, I can end the call before he reaches the bathroom.
But I also know that if I make this call, then there’s no more going back. Once I call Nico, I will have made my choice.
But the weight of two children’s lives hangs heavy around my throat. When I reach up instinctively to clutch the seven-pointed star at my throat for assurance, all I feel is deeper uncertainty.
I hit call, and Nico answers immediately.
"Did you find a way, Bella?"
His voice is different this time. The self-assured mocking tone that had always been there in his voice is gone. And instead, it sounds controlled and measured.
"I think so,” I reply, keeping my voice barely above a whisper. “But how do I know I can trust you? You've done nothing but lie to me from the beginning. How do I know that this isn’t just another lie?"
He’s silent for a while, and then he replies. “I saved your life on the yacht. I argued for mercy when my father was ready to kill you.”
"For selfish reasons,” I remind him. “You weren’t doing it to protect me. You were doing it because you wanted me to keep feeding you information."
"I did."
The honesty catches me off guard.
It's the first time that Nico D'Ambrosio has ever been earnest with me, and it’s almost enough for me to think that maybe this time, he’ll be sincere.
But he’s also burned me enough times that I don’t want him to be earnest.
