With my free hand, I grab one log after another, and shove them into the fireplace. But Bella remains cold and unconscious in my arms.
“Please,” I beg to a God that I’ve long stopped believing in. “Please don’t go. Please stay with me. Please. Please. Please.”
Miraculously, I manage to get the fire going after just a few minutes.
Once it starts roaring in the fireplace, I hold her next to it, rubbing her back, hands, and feet, willing her to come back to me.
42
BELLA
The first thingI notice when I wake up is the sound of rain, pitter-pattering overhead like tiny little drumbeats. The second is the bone-deep cold that sets me shivering violently.
The third is an impossible warmth pouring into me.
My eyes flutter open, and it takes a moment before I realize that I’mnakedin Slava’s arms. Our chests are pressed together, and his skin is searing hot against mine. His lips are hovering at my ear, whispering something in Russian that sounds like a prayer.
And his hands are at my back, rubbing me up and down.
Then, the memory of what happened comes rushing back. The storm. Falling from the horse. The cold pelting rain. Slava coming back for me. The ride in the cold towards a tiny hunting lodge.
I gasp. Immediately, the pain in my shoulder sends me crying out, and I collapse into Slava for support.
“I have you, Bella,” he whispers in my ear.
God, he has no idea how completely he has me.
I blink awake, and finally take in my surroundings. Gray storm-light filtering through small windows. From the light of a blazing hot fire behind me, I can make out rough shapes of heavy wooden furniture, antlers mounted on walls, and Slava’s body as he holds me.
“I thought I lost you,” he whispers and cinches something close around me.
I grasp it, and feel soft warm fur underneath me.
“You didn’t,” I reply. “I’m alive, thanks to you.”
His hands slide up my back, spreading a heat that burns hotter than the roaring blaze behind me. I shiver involuntarily from the touch, and a low moan escapes from my throat.
His hand reaches higher until it finds the back of my neck. Fingers close around the skin, and heat rushes through my veins. He cups me like I’m precious, feeds the warmth with his touch, and coaxes it to spread as he pulls me until all space between us disappears.
I whimper at howgoodthis feels, how right, and he turns to look at me.
We stare at each other for a heartbeat that lasts a lifetime. Then, his mouth opens against mine, and we crash together into a deep kiss that drives a sound I’ve never made before for him to swallow.
We’re both still wet from the rain, but I can’t feel the cold anymore. I can only feel the fire of his touch, the heat of his skin under my hands, and the furnace of his body against mine.
His fingers thread into mine, and with a single motion, he pushes them over my head. I arch into him, my legs spread open for him in invitation, and I let myself drown in the reality of his mouth moving from my lips to my jaw to my throat.
His lips brush the necklace, and he doesn’t pull back. He kisses around it, tongue laving the hollow of my collarbone.
My fingers dig into his scarred and muscular back, and my legs close around his waist to keep him here, like I’m scared he’ll leave the moment I let go.
“I want to remember this,” I breathe against his shoulder. “I want to remember everything.”
He pulls back just enough to look at my face, brows furrowing. “Why do you say that?”
Because this might be the only time.
Because I’ve already betrayed you, and I’m going to betray you again.
