“T-Rex would definitely win,” Alessandro says with absolute certainty. “Because he has all theteeth.”
“But he has such stubby little arms,” Slava points out, and shows the tenderness I keep glimpsing like sunlight through storm clouds.
I watch him with his son. The way he listens like Alessandro’s theories about dinosaurs are the most interesting thing in the world. Occasionally, he reaches over to brush hair from the boy’s forehead. And whenever Alessandro laughs, his entire face transforms.
This is who he is, too, I realize. Not just the Bratva boss and not just a killer. This was the man that Gia fell in love with.
And the man that I suspect I’m falling for as well.
The sun is warm on my face and the wine is good. I want to sink into this moment and never leave. To pretend like I’m someone else. But that awfulchoicefloats up to my mind every time I try to pretend, and bile rises in my throat.
“Bella?”
I blink, realizing Alessandro is looking at me expectantly. “Yes?”
“I asked if you like it here,” he says. “With papa.”
“I…” I glance at Slava, who’s watching me with an unreadable expression. “I think so.”
Alessandro nods solemnly, processing this. Then, with the directness that only children possess, he asks:
“Are you going to be my new mama?”
The world steals my breath away. Maybe it’s just my heart stopping. Or my body forgetting how to function.
But I’m frozen in place by his innocent question, and the wine turning to bitter ash on my tongue.
“Alessandro,” Slava says quietly, warningly.
“What?” Alessandro’s face is open. “My friend Marybeth’s papa has a new mama. And her new mama loves her as much as her old one did.”
Then he wipes his eyes. “And I never knew mine.”
Tears blur my vision, and I want to sweep him up into the biggest hug in the world.
“And besides.” The happy expression appears again on his face. “Papa likes you. You make him smile.”
I do? The thought is almost worse than the question.
“Some things aren’t that easy,” I say slowly.
But what am I supposed to say?
I can’t be your mama because I’m in the middle of destroying your papa?I can’t love you because I already love my own nephew, and loving you too would mean I have to let monsters take him away?
I can’t be your mama because I almost got you killed.
“We should head back soon,” he tells Alessandro, his voice gentle and thick with emotion. “It looks like it’s going to rain.”
He’s right. I hadn’t noticed, too caught up in my spiral, but clouds are gathering on the horizon. The temperature has dropped. The wind is picking up, and I can smell rain in the air.
Alessandro doesn’t push further, distracted by the mention of weather and the task of packing up to go back.
But I feel Slava’s eyes on me and those eyes are seeing too much.
He knows something’s wrong.
He doesn’t know what.
