She nodded, looking thoughtful. “How areyoureally doing with all this?”
I sighed, trailing my fingers through the cool water. “Honestly? I don’t even know. One minute I’m dying in a cave, and the next I’ve got four guys in my head all the time. I never wanted this. Not like this anyway. Now I’m stuck with four men who didn’t want me either.”
Lydia winced. “That’s rough.”
“The worst part is—” I hesitated, splashing more water on my face to hide the emotions I knew were showing through. But this was Lydia, she would understand. “The worst part is I feel guilty forbeingfrustrated. They saved my life. I should be grateful. But instead, I’m angry that this choice was taken from all of us.”
“You’re allowed to feel that way, Jupe. Gratitude and frustration aren’t mutually exclusive.”
“I know.” I stood up, stretching my arms above my head. “I just wish I could shut off my brain for a while, you know? Stop overthinking everything.”
Lydia’s face brightened. “Actually, I might have the perfect solution for that.” She grinned mischievously. “There’s a party tonight in the Sagittarius recreation parlor. Just music, drinks, and normal college bullshit.”
“A party?” The concept seemed so foreign after everything that had happened. “I don’t know...”
“When’s the last time you just had fun? Let loose a little? Before all this Ophis destiny crap took over your life?”
I thought about it and realized I couldn’t remember. The Assembly had kept me so busy fighting bane that I’d barely had time to breathe, let alone party.
“You know what? You’re right. I need this.” A smile spread across my face, the first genuine one in days. “What time does it start?”
“Nine. I’ll meet you at your room at eight-thirty so we can get ready together.” Lydia looked pleased with herself. “It’ll be good for you. You’re a bad bitch, and I need to remind you every now and then, apparently.”
We finished our run at a more leisurely pace. By the time we reached the academy grounds again, I was actually looking forward to the evening.
Back in my room, Noodle greeted me with a hiss.‘You smell like outside,’he commented, his tongue flicking rapidly.
“That’s because Iwasoutside, genius.” I flopped onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m going to a party tonight.”
‘Party?’He tilted his head curiously.‘Will there be mice?’
“Definitely not. And you’re staying here.”
‘Boring,’he huffed, coiling himself into a tight spiral on my pillow.
I felt a tentative brush against my mind, one of the shield testing our connection. I’d been blocking them as much as possible since yesterday, but it was exhausting to maintain the walls constantly. After a moment’s hesitation, I let the barrier thin slightly.
Concern filtered through. Draco, then. His mental presence was distinctive, cooler and calmer than the others.
Are you alright?his thoughts whispered.
Fine,I replied curtly, not inviting further conversation.
A pause.
We need to talk eventually, Jupiter.
Not today,I answered, then reinforced my mental walls.
I heard him sigh in the back of my mind before his presence receded respectfully. At least one of them understood boundaries.
Rolling onto my side, I checked the time. Hours yet before I needed to get ready, but anticipation was already building. Tonight, I wouldn’t be the Ophis designation or the Nightfall Shield’s axis. I’d just be Jupiter Black, a normal student at a normal party, having a normal good time.
For one night, I could pretend my life wasn’t a complicated mess. For one night, I could just be me.
When Lydia knockedon my door that evening, I was already dressed in black jeans that hugged my curves and a casual black crop top that showed off my serpent tattoos. I’d let my hair down, the long black waves reaching my waist, and had applied more makeup than usual—smoky eyeshadow that made my silver eyes pop and deep red lipstick.
Lydia whistled when I opened the door. “Damn, girl. You clean up nice.”
