“I will not. Unless the Lady herself requests me to leave,” Alexander said boldly.
He sat on the chaise next to Violet, staring challengingly at Ambrose who sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Violet, dearest, will you put this oaf out of his misery and tell him to leave?” Ambrose said.
As he did so, he stood, walking to a crystal decanter and pouring himself another glass of wine.
“I will ask him to leave if you will tell him the precise nature of our…intimacy,” Violet said.
Alexander could not help but stare at her. There was a leaden feeling in his stomach at an admission from her of any kind of intimacy with Ambrose. Resuming his seat, Ambrose scowled.
“You are hardly in a position to dictate terms to me,” he snapped.
“I wish him to hear it from you,” Violet replied coolly.
There was a tense moment in which Violet held Ambrose’s gaze. Alexander looked from one to the other, dreading what he was about to hear, bracing himself for the shattering of his hopes.
“Very well!” Ambrose said finally. “Long ago, I had a…dalliance with a certain Fiona Courtham. The product of which was a daughter whose identity I agreed to keep secret. An agreement I made with her Aunt and Uncle as she was born out of wedlock. This young lady is that daughter.”
“And not only me,” Violet put in. “There is not only my name and reputation at risk over this matter.”
“No, not only yours,” Ambrose said. “Two children were born to Fiona and myself. One with fair hair and blue eyes, who takes after me in looks. The other took after her mother, dark of hair and eye.”
“Lillian is my twin sister,” Violet finished, looking at Alexander. “And now I must ask you to go and never look for me again.”
Chapter 36
How can I say those words so calmly? How can I speak them at all?
Violet looked Alexander in the eye as she told him to leave. There was no choice. She could minimize the damage done to the Ravendel reputation by distancing herself from them. But the revelation that Lillian was her sister changed everything. She could not ask Lillian to remove herself from the parents whom she believed were her mother and father. Or from Clara, whom she believed was her sister. The only way to avoid a scandal was to send Alexander away. And hope that was enough for Ambrose to remain silent.
She could see now that her father was a viper, twisting and hard to hold onto. He was venomous and utterly selfish. Even now he wore a smile and seemed utterly at ease with the demands he was making.
I wanted to find my father so badly and now that I have, I wish I had not. Uncle George was right. I was better in ignorance.
Alexander looked at her searchingly, then nodded slowly. He took her hand and softly, tenderly kissed it. It felt like a goodbye kiss and tears sprang to Violet’s eyes, rapidly filling and then trickling down her cheeks. Alexander reached up to softly stop the stream that was flowing down her right cheek. Violet closed her eyes, feeling that when she opened them, he would be gone, like a dream.
An impossible dream. Such a man is not for me. Not in the waking world. I am destined to be the matchmaker but never to meet my own match. An expert on the rituals that govern men and women but apart from those rituals, outside of that society.
At that moment, she wished it could all just disappear. She wanted nothing more than to open her eyes to find herself in a wooded glade with Alexander. She would be barefoot, in a simple, peasant dress of light cotton. He would be wearing breeches and an unlaced shirt, also barefoot and with grass in his hair. Neither would ever have to worry about the correct form of address for a bishop who is coming to dinner. Or which set of silverware to use for the fish course of a luncheon or the etiquette when attending a society ball. They would think about their land and livestock, their children, and one day, grandchildren. They would think about living their lives together happily.
She opened her eyes and Alexander was still gazing at her. There was a smile on his face, a smile of comfort and reassurance. Heignored Ambrose, behaving as though only he and Violet were in the room.
“Just answer me this, lassie. Speak truly and I will honor the answer you give. I can make your troubles disappear. I swear it. Were it not for the troubles this man has brought to your door, would you still be asking me to leave you?”
“You turned your back on me. I stood ready to support you, no matter what. You abandoned me. What is to say that you will not do so again when times get hard?” she asked.
“Of course he will. He has no moral backbone. It is a characteristic of the lower orders. That is why he will never prevail against our kind,” Ambrose crowed.
“Be silent!” Alexander snapped. “Or I will show you how the lower orders conduct themselves where I come from.”
Ambrose blanched and his jaw firmed as he clenched his teeth. His fingers tightened on the glass he held, but he also held his tongue.
“Lassie, this man made a threat to me in the Painted Chamber, that you would suffer if I did not give up. I did not know what power he held over you until now. But at the time, I had no way of fighting back. I would not see your reputation dragged through the mud for my sake. I’m sorry. I should have told you what was on my mind.”
It seemed plausible and noble. She could not fault him for it as she was prepared to make the same sacrifice for him.
“You must tell me in the future. Do not shut me out. I cannot tell if I am being pushed away because you no longer care for me or…for another reason.”
