“The hotel down the road has rooms available,” Freddie says quietly. “I checked before I came here, just in case. We could—I mean, if you wanted to—” For the first time, his unflappable confidence falters. “But,” he hurries on, “no pressure, obviously. I can’t believe Clara didn’t tell you about this, she’s unbelievable. So I fully understand if this is too much and you want to slap me and get on your way.”
He pauses for breath and I jump in before I can talk myself out of it. “Yeah.”
“Yeah to the slapping, or?—?”
I snort. “Or.”
A smile lights up his entire face and my stomach tingles. “Yeah?”
“It’s—” I bite my lip again, embarrassed. “We’ll have to wait a bit. I can’t—I shouldn’t get up right now.”
It only takes him a second to understand, then he laughs. Not a malicious laugh, more … delighted. “You and me both, mate.”
I grip my glass of coke with shaky fingers, glad for its coolness against my skin, and down the rest of it. I can’t believe what I’m doing here. What I’ve agreed to.
I can’t believe Clara figured me out before I did.
But I can’t deny I’m excited. Scared, but so excited for the rest of the night.
For Freddie.
CHAPTER 3
Freddie
I letMarlon enter the hotel room first and give him a moment before I follow. He’s stopped in his tracks and stares at the bed like it might attack him at any moment. I wish I could’ve taken him somewhere else—somewhere that’s not so glaringly obvious about what we’re here to do. But no matter how casual Hadidja and I are, we never bring hookups back to our place. And his place is obviously off limits with Clara sneaking around.
Softly, I close the door behind me and touch his back. He starts and tenses and I immediately let go again. I want this—reallywant this—but he’s the one calling the shots tonight. I’m still not sure he’ll want to go through with it. I’m not sure I would, had the whole scenario been sprung on me like that. Kind of makes me glad I only have a younger brother who has no interest whatsoever in meddling in my life.
So I don’t want to add any pressure. He only needs to say the word and we never speak of this again. Though it would be a shame, he is gorgeous. Our dressing room and showers are full of muscular men, potential eye candy everywhere, but fortunately, personality plays a big role in who I find attractive. And that rules out most of the team. Not that they’re bad people, I just wouldn’t want to bone any of them.
Marlon is different. He’s always been different.
He’s kind and generous and funny when his anxiety loosens its tight grip on him.
Right now, the anxiety is radiating off him in waves. His fingers clench and unclench at his sides but nothing else moves, and I step close, right into his personal space. I want to make him make a decision. If he wants to push me away, that’s fine. If he’s okay with the proximity…even better.
“Hey,” I say quietly and give him one heartbeat, two, three.
He stays where he is, staring at me with bright grey eyes.
So I carefully slip my fingers under his beanie, thread them into his short hair, and pull him even closer. “No need to be shy.”
Marlon is perfectly still under my touch and I’m not sure whether to be encouraged by him staying or be deterred because of the lack of response.
“We’ve got this,” I continue. “You and I, we’re in this together. And you can stop it at any time.”
I fully expect him to step away from me at that, deciding it’s too much for him. Despite my assertiveness earlier at the pub, I’m not at all convinced he’ll find me attractive. He’s too used to me, the image of my gangly teenage body too present in his mind to notice the man I’ve become.
Instead, he relaxes into my touch and allows my hands to glide down, over his shoulders, his strong back. He’s taller than me by at least half a foot, but right now I’m the one holding us up.
My heart tingles. Having him trust me so much is more than I expected.
Eventually, Marlon clears his throat and takes the tiniest step away from me. He’s still close, though, and heat radiates off his skin. “I, erm.” He looks so nervous. I want to reach out and hold his hand to calm him down, but I’m not sure that would help right now. “I’ve never done this before,” he finally says, all in onehasty breath. “Not, uh. Not with men. But more like…ever.” I can see the blush that has crept into his cheeks.
God, he’s so precious. I’ve always found Marlon attractive, and I’ve always liked him as a friend, but now that these lines are blurring, I’m even more fascinated by him. I smile and carefully inch closer again. “All the more reason to make this fantastic, then.” I mean it, too. Even if he were a stranger, I’d want to make this good. A first time is such an important experience. I was lucky because my first time with a man was great. I want to make sure it’s the same for Marlon.
He makes a funny little sound, maybe a laugh, maybe a sigh, and I can tell he’s embarrassed. Right. Time to take some action. Get him out of his mind.
