“Mar.” Freddie sounds pleading as he looks at me. “I’m sorry. Can you accept my apology? I never wanted to hurt you. Never. It’s just—” He raises his shoulders, helplessly. “The problem is I’m such a massive bellend.”
My lips twitch in a smile, involuntarily. I cock my head. “Not sure you were hoping for me to disagree, but I won’t.”
“Fair.” His grimace makes the tingling creep along my thighs. He’s so unserious, but I love it. I love all of it.
I love the terrible sense of humour and the inappropriate jokes and the constant talking. Freddie is the opposite of me in so many ways and maybe that’s exactly what I need. I shouldn’t make him suffer. He’s given me the opportunity to be happy, I shouldn’t drag things out. It’s not doing either of us any good.
“Freddie.” And with just one word, my entire body tingles. My heart races in my chest and I’m shaking. Nerves have a tight grip on me but I need to get this out. “Paolo broke up with me.”
Freddie freezes, but his eyes light up. He looks at me, expectantly, as if waiting for me to take it back. Tell him it was a joke. But all I can do is smile and shake my head and hold my hand out to him. Suddenly, the distance between us is way too big.
But he doesn’t move. “Mar,” he says, so cautiously it’s almost a whisper. “Are you—what are you saying?”
I sigh and gesture for him to get closer. “This is going to boost your ego so much,” I say and roll my eyes, but when Freddie gets up from the bed and steps close to me, I shiver with happiness.“I’m saying I kept calling for you when I came and he eventually had enough of it.”
Freddie’s hands slip around my waist and my eyes flutter closed immediately. “Youdid?” Yup, he sounds way too gleeful.
“Shut up.” I lean forward blindly and our foreheads touch. Everything in me settles. I’m calm even though I’m humming with nerves. “Your ego is big enough as it is.”
I’m fully expecting a size joke, but when none comes, I open my eyes again. This is not the Freddie I know. Is he serious about the whole grovelling thing? If it’s going to be like this, I’m not sure I want it.
Then he gets down on one knee, the insane man, and I stare at him in horror. “What in the?—”
“Marlon Theodore Rothe,” he interrupts and gazes up at me with such gravity I’m honestly worried about the next words out of his mouth. “Will you give me another chance?”
A laugh slips out before I can stop it, relieved and amused and bewildered. “You complete and utter monkey,” I say, and Freddie correctly interprets it as a yes. He gets up and grabs my hand again. “Also, my middle name is not Theodore,” I say. “You’re an idiot.”
He shrugs and grins wildly, and my heart stumbles. “It felt like a middle name kind of situation, you know? So I freestyled.”
I snort but it’s short-lived, because Freddie pulls my hand to his lips and softly kisses my knuckles. My knees are this close to buckling. “Will you be with me?” he asks, unexpectedly serious. “For real? I want this, I really do. I fell hard for you during our first night and clearly trying to get over you doesn’t work. It makes life so much harder for both of us but I’m done pretending. I want to hold you and kiss you and have you in my life as more than just a mate and give in to this—this ridiculousness I’m feeling.”
“Sounds like we have a mutual ridiculousness going on,” I retort, and his eyes go soft at the admission.
He’s never looked at me like this before, not when we were drunk, not when we were in bed together. This is new and it feels so good and I already can’t get enough of it. “I want you, Mar,” he says, in a voice like molten chocolate, soft and sweet. “In all the ways I can. In my bed. On the field. And in my heart.”
“Who went and made you poet laureate?” I mock grumble, because he got me good with what he said. My hands rise and curl around his face all on their own accord. His stubble scratches against my palm, his wiry hair rebels against my touch. I’m in heaven. “So, you want me to be with you? It sounds like a full-time job, honestly,” I quip, but it’s no good, I’m going all soft and tender and melty in his arms. “I guess I’ll carry that burden.”
“So kind of you,” Freddie says, through a beaming grin, then he leans forward and finally,finallykisses me. It’s soft for all of two milliseconds and then it turns forceful and urgent and full of promise.
Oh, shit. I am in so far over my head with this guy. I am so done for. All of me wants him, every single cell in my body is straining to be close to him. “I love you,” I whisper against his lips, “I love you I love you I love you, against all reason.”
His lips briefly widen into a grin but they never leave mine. “Nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.” His tongue slips into my mouth and makes me float from the touch alone. “Now let me take you apart the way you deserve.”
In this moment, I realise: Freddie isitfor me. I’ve had my fair share of men over the last couple of months, but none have made me feel like this. Not my heart, not my mind, not even my body. “Yes,” I groan and pull him closer. His erection is hard against my thigh and I notice I’m hard as well. “Yes, Freddie, god, please.” I want to sink to my knees right here and now and take him in my mouth.
But there’s one thing I still need to do, so I pull away from his embrace and blink at the loss of his warmth, then clear my throat. “Hang on, we’ll get right to it,” I say faintly, trying to collect myself. “Just one sec.”
CHAPTER 16
Freddie
Marlon stepsaround me and heads to the door, leaving me behind fully bewildered. I never would have thought we could get to a good place when I got here—but him leaving me behind now makes me insecure. It’s not a feeling I’m used to, but I’ve rarely felt as vulnerable as I have today.
He said he loved me. I could feel him wanting me.
So what is this?
I turn my head just in time to watch him wrench open the door to his room. “Clara!” he bellows. It’s a shock to hear him be so loud, he’s usually so soft-spoken. “Clar!”
