Marlon might be unconscious, judging by how still he is. I grin to myself and crawl up so I can prop myself next to him. Look at his face. He’s blissed out, a look that I’ve never seen on his face before. Did I think he was beautiful before? This—god, I don’t even know. He makes parts of me go weak that have never been involved in sex before. My heart. My soul. That’s a weird thing to think, probably, because how can a soul go weak? I don’t know, but it is true.
This is a one-time thing. I know that. It can never be more than that, it’s dangerous enough as it is. But for these few heartbeats, I allow myself to enjoy it all. Soak it up, the tenderness in me and the way I want to protect him, hold him. Kiss him until we’re both out of breath and then do it all over again.
His eyes flutter open and I tell myself to get it together. “Hey.” I sound so damn loved-up and I need to get rid of it, pronto.
Marlon clears his throat and smiles up at me. “Hey.” He’s still hoarse and pride surges inside me. Yep, that was my doing. “Oh my god,” he says, “Freddie, I—” His grin almost splits his face in half. “Sorry for lasting about thirty seconds. You didn’t have to—you know.” He gestures at his own mouth, suddenly a little shy.
I grin down at him because that’s what I should be doing. Be cheeky and teasing, not going all soft for him. “Are you kidding? Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
His smile turns bashful, and he lifts an arm as if to prop himself up too, then flops back onto the duvet. “You broke me.”
I laugh. “Well, get some rest then, put yourself back together. There’s more to come if you want.”
“How am I the one who’s exhausted?” he asks with a small groan, but he doesn’t sound mad about it. “You did all the work!”
I laugh again and bend my head so he can’t see my eyes. I know I should shake off these soft feelings, but it’s hard when he’s splayed out like this, emotions written so clearly on his face. “You did so good,” I say. “You were so perfect for me. Believe me when I say this wasn’t work. Nothing we do together could ever feel like work.”
Shit. That was a lot more than what I wanted to say, but luckily, I don’t think Marlon realises how serious I was. Instead, he lifts a hand to cover his eyes. “Shut up, oh my god, you’re making me blush.”
“Would you prefer I make you scream?” It’s only half a joke, because I am still very hard and the idea of doingmorewith Marlon makes my skin prickle in the best kind of way.
“Fuck.” Marlon exhales sharply. “You can’t say stuff like that to me, I’m a blushing virgin!” He’s certainly blushing, all the way down his neck and the top of his torso. I’ve gotten under his skin, and I love the idea of naughty images parading around Marlon’s head. Of him being naughty withme.
“You’re no longer a virgin, boo.” I still tease him, but I also want him to understand this. In the wonderful world of queer sex, it’s about so much more than penetration. “So if that’s all you want to do, that’s great. We both had a fantastic time. You don’t have to do anything to prove a point.” I certainly don’t think penetration is on the cards for tonight. It would be a bit much, to go from thinking you’re straight to full anal in one evening.
Marlon bites his lip, then sighs, closing his eyes. “Thanks. Can, we, erm—” He seems embarrassed, suddenly. “Can we cuddle?” The last word is almost a whisper and I have to hold back a smile at how cute he is.
Instead, I pull back the covers, making him roll a little on the mattress, then throw myself on the bed and pull him close to me. “Deffo,” I say, which makes him laugh. I turn to my side so we’re facing each other, then put an arm around him and pull the duvet over us. “This is amazing.”
He wraps an arm around me too and then presses a kiss to the top of my head. Tingles dance through my stomach at the touch and I use the opportunity to snuggle even closer. He’s right, I think, my eyelids heavy, this really is amazing. I wish it would never end.
I’m awoken by a hand that’s gently massaging my arse, and I moan before I’m even fully awake yet. The hand moves, drifting across my side until it reaches my soft cock. A sleepy, happy sigh drops from my lips and the hand moves to fondle my balls, then back to my cock, which is plumping.
“Morning, sunshine.” Marlon bends down and kisses me softly.
Fuck, what a way to wake up. The way he kisses me, touches me, like it means something.
Argh. Nope. We’re not getting delusional.
Instead, I decide to teach him an important lesson about sex. “Hey,” I say and open one eye to peer at him. He looks at me with so much softness in his gaze, I need to close my eyes again. “So, normally we check in with the other person before we touch them,” I say gently. “You know. Unless you’ve agreed on some ground rules.”
Marlon’s hand disappears immediately and I almost regret what I said. But consent is important and I need to make sure he’s aware.
“Shit.” He sounds distressed. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even—I don’t know what I was?—”
I lean over and silence him with a kiss. “It’s okay. I liked it. Just something to keep in mind for—for your future partners.” Isn’t that a terrible thought; Marlon with someone else. Makes the inside of my mouth taste bad. So I clear my throat and quickly move on. “So, what’s next? Are you ready for round two?”
Marlon looks a little uncomfortable and I immediately know the night is over. “Or do you want to go home?” I add, quickly, to make it easier for him to back out.
“I—” He pulls a tiny grimace. “I’m sorry, you didn’t even get off yet, but I?—”
“No.” I firmly grip his chin and make him look at me. “Never apologise for not wanting sex. That’s your right. Any decent partner will understand and support your decision.”
“Okay.” He gives a tiny nod but still doesn’t look happy. “I wish I could—you know. Return the favour. But it’s a lot, and my head is—” He gestures as if to mimic an explosion.
I knew this was coming. Him not wanting to do more was always the most realistic outcome, and I knew that going in. I’m glad he’s able to understand his boundaries and listen to his body. I just wish I could have held him for a little longer. Kissed him one more time.
But that’s a me problem and I’m not going to bother Marlon with it. “I can imagine,” I say softly. And I do. “My first time with a man was overwhelming too, and I knew I was not straight when I went out to meet him.” A quick, lopsided grin to show him I’m not being mean. “So your brain must be going a mile a minute.”
