“No.” She plants herself beside Rowan, crossing her arms over her chest, the gold threads in her new sweater glinting. “I don’t want to leave.”
“This isn’t a democracy, Lena,” I say, a coldness in my voice that surprises even me. “We’re leaving.”
“But I like it here.” Her chin lifts in defiance, a mirror of my own stubborn stance. “I feel safe here. My grades are better. I’m sleeping through the night without waking up to gunshots or sirens. Why would we go back?”
“Because I said so,” I snap.
Lena’s bottom lip wobbles before she spins on her heel. “I hate you!”
“Hate me while you pack!” I shove past Rowan and pause at her door, holding out one of the trash bags. “Only bring what you brought with you. We don’t need charity.”
Tears spill down her cheeks as she stomps to her dresser. “Why are you ruining this for us?”
Her disappointment hurts, and there’s a part of me that questions how this is different from Rowan making a unilateral decision for me. But the sticking point is that Lena is still a child, and I’m not. I’m the person responsible for ensuring she grows up better adjusted than I had the chance to be.
And I don’t have it in me to explain to her that we’re leaving because I’m falling for Rowan, and I’m no longer sure I can trust him to have our best interests at heart.
“Ten minutes,” I tell her, softer now that she’s moving. “If we hurry, we can catch the bus.”
Rowan follows me to his bedroom and stands in the doorway as I start stuffing my meager belongings into the trash bag I kept for myself.
“This is a mistake,” he says, stripped of his usual confidence. “It was just business. It has nothing to do with us.”
“If you werereallytreating me as an employee, my Heat wouldn’t have factored into your decision.” I head into the closet. “You would have based your decisions on my skills alone.Youlet our personal life affect your business, so now we’re done having a personal life.”
I shove the last of my clothes into the bag. The guard Rowan gave me remains on my neck, but only until I can get myself a replacement. Then I’ll return it. I won’t take anything from him that could be leveraged to draw me back here.
When I return to the living room with my backpack of electronics and trash bag, Lena waits by the front door, her own belongings at her feet. She’s stopped crying, her face now blank, emotions tucked away behind the mask of compliance I taught her to wear in dangerous situations.
Guilt twists in my gut at the sight, but I push it aside for later examination.
Rowan stands at the kitchen island, his posture rigid. “At least take the car service. It’s snowing.”
“We’ll manage.” The words come out clipped. “We always have.”
His jaw tightens as he bites back whatever argument he wants to make. Finally, he nods once, asharp jerk of his head that concedes the battle while promising the war isn’t over.
“The door will be open when you’re ready to come back,” he says, his certainty scraping my nerves raw.
“Don’t hold your breath.” Bag in one hand, I cross to join Lena at the door. My hand finds the small of her back, guiding her forward as I have since she was small enough to carry.
We step into the hallway without looking back, the door closing behind us with a soft click. The elevator arrives with a cheerful ding that mocks the heaviness between us.
Inside, Lena stares at her reflection as if trying to memorize the version of herself who gets to be safe, and it guts me.
I would do anything for Lena. I have.
I’ve stolen, bled, starved, swallowed pride until it choked me.
But I can’t give her this.
“Us staying here was never supposed to be permanent,” I tell her, the words sounding hollow to my own ears.
She doesn’t respond, her silence more damning than any argument could be.
As the elevator drops, Rowan’s scent clings to myskin like a brand, and my body aches with the memory of his hands.
I want him so much it’s turned me stupid.
