“Just take it slow.” Cooper moved a hand to the small of Nico’s back, just above the belt. “Match my movements.”
Nico breathed steadily through it. The first circle and then the next, and then the two of them danced in sync. “I never thanked you. For what you did after Elon died.”
And fuck, Nico always considered Cooper to be a closed book he couldn’t pry open but it wasn’t like Nico himself was an open book. Sure, he was more prone to spitting intrusive thoughts out, but he was guarded just the same.
Nico looked away and gritted his teeth. This confession wasn’t an easy one to say out loud because it meant being completely vulnerable to someone who was predisposed to shying away from anything uncomfortable. “You might have saved my life.”
Nico’s feet bumped into Cooper’s again.
This time, it was Cooper’s fault as he dug his heels into the ground. “Come on, don’t say that.”
“I’m not saying I wanted to die, or that I was suicidal.” Nico couldn’t stand still anymore. He was a sitting duck like this. At least when they were moving—when they were dancing—he could pretend the world was still moving around them. He stole the lead from Cooper and stepped sideways. Cooper followed his lead. “It was like I was existing in a void of emptiness. Sometimes, people die long before they’re gone.”
Elon died twice. The first time when he had his accident. The second time when he died for real. Nico himself had died multiple times before. The first time when his mother left him when he was still a young kid. The second time when his friend died in high school. The third time when his brother had his accident. The fourth time when he found out he was being traded after only one year in the league, as if he was scrap to be disposed of like the remnants of a crashed car. The fifth time when his brother left this world for good.
Nico continued, “Like the lights go out, the spark fizzles, and living becomes more about survival than it does enjoying what time we have left. Something about that night out there in the wilderness saved my light.”
Cooper tried to smile, but in the end it couldn’t quite overcome the frown wrinkling over his lips. “That’s oddly poetic.”
“Do you know I love to read?”
“I guess I know it now. What else do you like doing, Nico?”
Hearing this man refer to him by his name and not anything else still felt surreal. Every time it happened, there was a little more hope this night wouldn’t end like all the others had.
“I’m rather fond of irritating people,” Nico said with a shit-eating grin.
“Never would have guessed.”
“Do I irritate you?”
Cooper pulled Nico closer to him. Close enough that their bodies brushed against each other. “All the damn time, but I suppose that means I like being irritated.”
“That’s good to hear, because I don’t know if it’s possible for me to stop. And what about you? What tickles your fancy?”
“I’m an easy guy to please.”
Nico disagreed, but prayed he could control his facial expressions better than he could control his mouth. By the way Cooper stared at him, Nico figured he lost that war.
“Shut up,” Cooper scowled with amusement, but it quickly eroded into a blank expression. “I don’t know who I am outside of football, like it’s such a big part of me that I can’t see the rest.”
“At the risk of this being none of my damn business, what did you and Luke like to do?”
“About an hour drive outside of Columbus, the light pollution isn’t so bad,” Cooper said which was the exact opposite of theshut the fuck upNico expected. “We used to park the car on the side of some backwoods road, grab a blanket, and lay in some stranger’s field and stargaze for hours. I also used to like to learn new recipes. When you’re forced to live a hidden life, you find enjoyment in the simple things. Cooking was safe. Spending the day on the couch binge-watching Real Housewives was safe. Partying until the sun rose in the morning in the private walls of my home was safe.” Cooper stopped in place as the song neared its end. “But it’s not living. This here… This is living.”
Word vomit incoming, Nico swallowed. “Can I call you, Cooper?”
“You can call me whatever you want. It’s not like you need permission.” Cooper’s smile lit up and suddenly the rest of the dining room didn’t seem so dark anymore. “But I’m rather fond of Coop.”
“Coop,” Nico whispered with a nod of understanding and content.
Cooper’s eyes shifted to Nico’s and stayed there. “Yeah, just like that.”
“I had a great time tonight, Coop.”
Cooper didn’t say it back.
He didn’t need to.
