Cooper opened his mouth to protest, but instead, the truth came bumbling out, “He was the sun in my world and it’s been dark since he’s been gone.” He cleared his throat and straightened himself out. He couldn’t talk about Luke without falling apart, but he needed to keep it together for Nico’s sake. What good was a knight in shining armor if he broke? “It never got better. I never got better. Almost five years later and I still wake up sometimes expecting him to be on his side of the bed.”
“I’ve never been in love, but I think that kind of heartbreak would kill me.”
“They call it heartbreak for a reason. It’s scientificallyproven to damage your heart. Somewhere out there, someone has died from having their heart broken.” Cooper got up and circled the fire until he stood in front of Nico. He squatted down, sturdying the weight of his body on his thighs. He caressed a hand on Nico’s cold cheek. “If you want to know why I drove all the way down here, it’s because I wanted to make sure you were safe. I wanted to help your heart not feel so broken. I wanted to make sure you didn’t break like I did.” He stood up and held his hand out. “Now, let's go to bed and when we wake up, I’ll make us a nice breakfast before heading out.”
Nico took hold of Cooper’s hand.
What was left of the fire crackled into the late hours of the night, when the howls of far-off coyotes punched through the symphony of frogs. Cooper and Nico laid on a bed of blankets with another blanket pulled over them. Both were fully clothed and yet it was the most intimate Cooper had ever felt with Nico.
With both of them being about the same height, Nico’s body fit perfectly against Cooper’s.
“I’m sorry about what I said the last time I saw you,” Nico whispered.
“I know.” Cooper’s hand crawled beneath Nico’s shirt and rubbed his stomach in slow circles. “Sometimes, when I’m with you, I can see the sun rising again and that fucking terrifies me.”
Nico shifted his body backwards, and Cooper heldhim tighter.
“And it scares me,” Cooper continued, “because every time I touch you I feel like I’m cheating on a ghost.”
“You can’t ever love someone else because you’re too busy loving someone who is gone." Nico grabbed Cooper’s hand and squeezed. “What’s the game plan for the rest of your life?”
“I’m trying to figure that out.”
Nico’s grip loosened and his head dropped slightly ahead. The tension dissipated from the other man’s body as if he were on the fast track to dreamland.
In the stillness of the night, in the middle of nowhere, Cooper felt the faintest tinge of hope. Hope that better days were on the horizon. He pulled Nico tighter, if that were even possible, and nuzzled his head against Nico’s.
It occurred to him that this man he couldn’t stop fucking was backed up against him in the perfect position, and yet his cock remained soft. It wasn’t for a lack of wanting, though. Rather, it was peace. It was safety, and that was so much more powerful than sex.
Cooper kissed the back of Nico’s head and whispered, “Goodnight, Nico.”
Chapter Nineteen
may 2023 - los angeles
Nico’s stomach growled.
But he did as he was told, though he wasn’t thrilled about it. Natalie and he had binged the entireScreamfranchise the week prior, and so walking down a dark alley alone was intimidating to say the least. It didn’t matter he was two-hundred pounds and over six feet tall. Some of the killers in that franchise were struggling to reach five feet and were throwing people through windows and shit.
Once he reached the back door of John John, he pulled out his phone and texted Cooper that he was there. While he waited for the other man, he considered that maybe he was overdressed wearing black dress boots, black trousers, and a fitted white button-up with a decorative pair of black suspenders strapped over his shoulders.
The door popped open and Nico immediately realized he was underdressed.
Cooper wore a black tuxedo with a fresh haircut. Hisusual short-medium wavy dirty blonde hair was cut short with a fade on the sides. Cooper looked every bit of a dashing prince Nico had read about in some of his favorite books.
“Yes, Rook,” Cooper said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Please continue standing outside like you’re waiting for the paparazzi.”
Nico hurried inside, letting Cooper close the door behind him.
“I think we have different definitions of dressing up, but I’ll be sure to clarify that in the future.” Cooper laughed before tugging at Nico’s suspenders. “You look hot as hell, by the way.” Cooper led the way down a short hallway with another door at the end. “You’re shaking. Are you nervous?”
“No shit, I’m nervous.” Nico clocked his surroundings. It was just the two of them, but who knew what or who lied ahead. “I’m on a date with another man in one of the hottest spots in LA.”
“Nobody is going to know,” Cooper said, without turning around. “So calm down, and try to enjoy the night I’ve planned for us.”
Cooper pushed through the door at the end of the hall, leading to the main bar of the restaurant that stretched along the back wall and was cut off from the dining area by glass doors that were typically perched open. Only one door was open, and Nico leaned around it. He’d never seen the restaurant empty before. Any time he’d been there, it’d been filled with the who’s who of Hollywood. On a typical night, the lights were dimmed with the hottest hits playing overhead, but at a volume conversations could be had.
Here, it was bright and empty. Near the bar area, there was a single table with two chairs. The rest of the tables were crowded on the opposite end of the room, with about twenty feet of empty space all around the single table.
