Cooper watched Nico walk to the island separating the kitchenette from the couch and TV.
“What the hell is that?” Cooper questioned, his eyes narrowing on the new tattoo on Nico’s back.
Nico cocked his head over his shoulder. “What?”
Cooper pointed at the tattoo he hadn’t seen before. A yellow bird trapped in a cage, hung right below the right scapula. “On your back.”
“It’s a tattoo.” Nico turned around fully with a shit-eating grin. “See, these guys have these cool little guns filled with ink and they draw art on your skin, which just so happens to be permanent.”
“If I was a violent person, sometimes I think I’d want to smack the shit out of you.”
“You did threaten to kill me once.” Nico poured two glasses of red wine. “But it’s just a bird.”
Cooper gritted his teeth. This wasn’t a game. “A bird in a fucking cage.”
Nico shrugged. “I just thought it was cute.”
“Bullshit,” Cooper scowled.
“Can we not do thisright now?” Nico handed a glass of wine to Cooper.
“Tell me that’s not?—”
“It’s not.”
Cooper sat the untouched glass of wine back onto the counter. “Please tell me that’s not because of what I said to you.”
Nico hesitated, rolled his lips together and then scoffed. “Which time?”
“Why would you get a tattoo of that?”
Nico rolled his eyes, took a sip of wine, and set the glass onto the counter. “It’s not like anybody in the locker room is going to be like, oh look Nico has a tattoo of a cage on his back. He must be a fag.”
“Don’t ever fucking say that word again,” Cooper scolded Nico like he was schooling a child.
“Yeah, I don’t…” Nico pinched the corners of his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Cooper collapsed onto the couch. “I’m sorry, too.”
“For?” Nico asked, taking a seat beside him.
Cooper nodded, scratched at the scruff on his chin, and contemplated not saying anything at all. Banter was easy, especially with someone like Nico who made it simple. Talking? As in talking, talking? That was something else entirely.
“You deserve so much more than this.” He looked over to Nico, who wore only a pair of briefs. Looked him straight in the eyes and swore he saw someone looking back at him who was so much more than the cocky rookie he first met. “So much more than sneaking around in hotel rooms with someone like me. More than being trapped in this fucking cage.”
Nico leaned backwards. “Are you… like… breaking up with me?”
“We’re not together. We can never be together. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I obviously get that.” Nico left Cooper on thecouch and circled around the island. “But you were with Luke.”
Cooper stood up and threw his arms outward. “That was different.”
“Because you loved him?”
“I loved him. I still do.” That thing about not wanting to talk about Luke? That thing about not enjoying talking about the things that mattered? It hit Cooper like a brick and he felt adrenaline shift to his feet, ready to run. “I don’t know how to stop,” he said, his voice cracking.
Nico nodded as if he understood what Cooper was talking about. He couldn’t, though. Nobody could. Nico circled the counter and braced himself in front of Cooper. He ran a hand down the length of each of Cooper’s arms. “You don’t have to stop.”
