And then it came, “Not at all.”
Nico froze, surprised at the admission. “What about Stassi?”
That was definitely none of his fucking business.
“I love her.”
Okay, now it was definitely Nico’s business because he was fucking nosey and that didn’t make sense to him. “But you don’t… fuck her?”
Cooper shrugged and exited the bedroom, leaving Nico standing there alone.
He had a bad habit of doing that and Nico had a bad habit of following him like a fucking puppy.
God, he hated that fucking part of him.
When Nico caught up to Cooper, the other man was standing at the bar pouring a glass of bourbon.
Cooper made eye contact with Nico as he twisted the cap back on the bottle. “I don’t drink this shit, but it’s been a night.”
Nico nodded, sensing it was time for him to get the fuck out of there. The energy had shifted. That softness to Cooper he’d sensed before was gone, replaced with the samecold shell he’d grown accustomed to. Colder, even. He grabbed his jacket and held it with one hand.
“I tried it once,” Cooper said, stealing Nico’s attention back to him.
Nico twisted in a slow circle. “Tried what?”
Cooper downed the entire glass of bourbon in one go and gently slid the glass down the length of the bar. “The heavy shit isn’t good for you. The bourbons, whiskeys, vodka, tequila. It’s all the same. It’s poison.”
Then why the fuck are you drinking it,Nico wanted to ask but he was still pressed about the previous response. “You don’t fuck Stassi?”
“Like I said,” Cooper shrugged. “I tried it once. It’s not what I’m into.” He leaned on the counter, holding the weight of his body with his forearms. “Doyoulike girls?”
“I’m discovering I like both.”
“Great news.” Cooper wagged a finger in the air and smiled. “This will be easier for you.” He circled the bar and met Nico on the other side of it. “Hiding one half of yourself will be a lot easier than hiding every part.”
Nico understood exactly what his coach meant and shook his head. There was no way he could hide this new secret. “What if I don’t want that kind of life?
“I didn’t make the rules.” Cooper grabbed a remote off the bar and angled it at the floor-to-ceiling windows. The curtains pulled open, shifting to both sides of the wide-open space. Outside, Columbus looked bustling. Cooper pointed over his shoulder, pointing out the window. “They made the rules. The same crowd that’ll scream your name every Sunday, the ones with our names stitched onto every article ofclothing they own. The sponsors, the endorsements. When word gets out you like sucking dick, or worse taking it up the ass, it’s game over. All those jerseys and memorabilia? Burned. All those fans will turn their adoration into pitchforks.”
Nico flinched as Cooper approached.
Cooper stopped just short of him, grabbed the jacket out of his hand, and circled behind him. “But you know this already.” He helped Nico into his jacket, one arm at a time, and then made his way back to stand in front of him again. “That’s why you picked me.” He leaned in and kissed Nico on the cheek and then whispered into his ear, “That’s why I picked you.”
“I didn’t—” Nico stumbled over his own words. “I don’t?—”
“You did,” Cooper said flatly. “Because as quarterbacks, we are uniquely positioned with the world on our shoulders. Billions of dollars rest on us. Nobody else in the world understands what it’s like to want what every football player wants, and then to want something they absolutely cannot ever have.”
Nico stood frozen as he watched Cooper return to the window, gazing longingly out at the city below. At the city that should love him—that did love him. At the city that would hate him if his big secret ever got out.
Nico was stunned into silence.
“Sometimes, when you make a deal with the devil, you’re really making it with yourself,” Cooper said. “One tryst at a time, but for people like you and me, we chose to live in…” He turned fully to Nico. “This thing between us, thisthingwe both are.”
The older man stopped himself, hiding his lips behind a pair of fingers.
Under the dim yellow lights, Nico could’ve sworn he noticed the faintest echoes of tears glistening deep in Cooper’s eyes. But he was also tired and could have been seeing shit.
Cooper collected himself, straightened himself out. Forced a smile. “It’s a cage. And we don’t get to live outside of it.”
