“I think he’d be proud of me.” He broke free from her grasp. “And I think he’d be ashamed of what you’ve become.”
Cooper left his mother disheveled at the steps and found his way to the podium. He adjusted the mic upward.
“Good evening, everyone. I want to thank you all for coming out tonight. This is our seventh annual gala and it continues to grow every year. I have a bad habit of cominghere and sharing the same stories about my best friend, Luke Davies. For those who have shown up year after year, I won’t bore you with the same anecdotes. Tonight, we’re going to do something a little different.”
Cooper gripped onto both sides of the podium, steadying himself. He looked out to the crowd and saw Stassi and her parents seated at a table in the front. Sheree nodded her head in approval, giving him the reassurance he needed from his own mother. Cooper and Stassi had sat them down a month prior and told them everything.
“In the seven years we’ve been doing this, we have raised millions of dollars for youth football programs across the country. We have changed countless lives, providing equipment for low-income school districts and setting up mentors for promising young athletes. Some of these kids have gone on to join the league. But what if this foundation could do even more?”
He searched the crowd, measuring the expressions on the faces of so many of the people he knew. Stassi smiled. Nico stepped away from the bar, his eyes locked with Cooper’s. Razer sat with his arm around his wife’s back. His mother looked around the room, gauging the reactions, too.
Cooper cleared his throat and continued, “Tonight, the mission of the Luke Davies Foundation changes forever. This realignment will serve to honor Luke in a way he would have wanted. See, Luke begged me to do this so many times.”
He stopped to pause, closing his eyes and reassuring himself in silent whispers.
When he opened his eyes again, he found his gazedrifting back to Nico. And he stayed there. “I never had the courage. Some will say I shouldn’t be saying anything at all. That it’s not my place. But with Luke’s family’s blessing…” He gestured to the Davies table. “I’m here to tell you this is exactly what he would want. He would want me to live the kind of life he wanted us to live. To be open, and to be free. He would want me to love and be loved the way we loved each other. Deeply. Passionately. Eternally. I spent so long lost in what happened the night of the accident that I stopped living. I retired way too early, and was lured back to coach the incredible athlete we all know as national champion Nico Fallon. Being back on that field, albeit in a different capacity, reminded me how much I love this game. And I came back as a quarterback the following season.”
He drowned out the gasps of the crowd, the applause, the stunned silence. All of it.
“And look…” He shook his head. “I know life is about so much more than football, but life is also meaningless without it. I always believed the sport wouldn’t love me back the way I loved it. Not if I showed the world who I really was. I suppose I don’t care about that anymore. Once you’ve had everything you love ripped away from you, not once but twice, you stop caring about the rest of the bullshit. So in case I haven’t made it clear, I’m here, I’m queer, and I’m standing up here with the courage I wish I had far too long ago. And a part of that strength is acknowledging the people I’ve hurt along the way. To reach into the deepest parts of me and offer apologies that will never be enough.”
He looked around the room, and had the full attention of everyone in attendance.
“Someone once asked me what I was so afraid of losing when nothing in this world belongs to me. My therapist informed me this was a popular proverb I’d never heard of. That’s beside the point, though. That person was right though. Nothing in this world belongs to me, or us. We have limited time on this earth and then we’re gone. From here on out, I’m not afraid of losing. Tonight, I?—”
He paused. After all the revelations, this should have been easy. It wasn’t. Though it gutted him, he understood it was time.
“Tonight, I stand before you all to let you know that I’m done. After this season, I will not be re-signing with the Cobras, or any team for that matter. I’m hanging up the jersey. I’ll still be here every year to honor the man I lost. I’ll transition to another role, though I’m not entirely sure what that’ll be. All I know is that I need to give back to football the way football gave back to me. Which brings me to the realignment of the Luke Davies Foundation. Beginning tonight, this organization will be centered on queer athletics, to help shape the future of the league. More information will be available on the website in the coming days. Thank you, again. For everything. Now please welcome Stassi Davies to the stage.”
Stassi dashed up the steps in a black and gold dress, kissed Cooper on the cheek, and whispered, “You did it. You destroyed the cage.”
Cooper stormed off the stage to thunderous applause. Some of it was sincere, no doubt. Some of it was performative. At the moment, it didn’t matter. He just needed to get the fuck out of public view before he vomited on a randombystander. He briefly locked eyes with his mother, who quickly stormed out the back.
On his way to the bathroom, he bumped into Coach White who gripped him on the shoulder. “I’m so proud of you.”
Cooper chuckled to himself. “You fucking knew, didn’t you?”
White nodded. “Since your first week of training camp your first year.”
“Thank you for always believing in me, regardless.”
“I’m going to miss you on the field. I’m going to have to find another fucking rookie,” White groaned. “Any chance you’d be willing to coach him?”
Cooper shook his head. “Not a chance in hell.”
Together, they shared a moment of laughter.
Nico stuffed both hands in the pockets of his trousers as he stepped off the elevator. Up ahead, at the end of the hall, Cooper stood against the window, staring out at the city below.
Every step Nico took down the hall felt like a step toward absolution, a step toward healing. A step toward… what the fuck was he thinking?
Cooper spun in a slow circle, spotting Nico. “I was hoping you were going to show.”
“All three rooms,” Nico whispered as he reached Cooper.
Cooper brushed a hand through Nico’s hair, pushing itfrom his forehead. “If you don’t kiss me right fucking now…”
“Always so damn bossy,” Nico said with a grin.
