“I don’t give a damn.”
Nico didn’t have the energy to fight. His stomach floated, and his head was dizzy. Nico leveled his palms on the table to assist in getting up.
“Sit the hell back down,” his father shouted. “We’re going to have a talk. If you don’t want to talk, then the least you are going to do is listen.”
Nico dropped back down into his chair and leaned back, exhausted.
“You would do this to your family after what we all went through with your brother,” his father said. “You always had the common sense your brother lacked.”
“One mistake and you want to compare me to him? That’s fucked up.”
“With all due respect, you’re still fucked up.” It was the first time Nico had ever heard his father say that word. “Even now, I can see the strain in your dilated eyes. I know you’re still drunk because of how high you blew, but I’m starting to think you’re on drugs too because I don’t know how else to reconcile the son I knew compared to the son I’m looking at now.”
“Elon was an addict,” Nico felt the need to remind his father. “Instead of chasing his dreams, he chased a high. I fucked up and I can admit that, but we’re not the same. That being said, I was never good enough for you, no matter how much I tried.”
“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about and I’m not going to let you change the goalpost here.”
Nico was not the type of man to share his feelings, buthe was at a breaking point. Years of pent-up frustration exploded from within. “I could never compare to him. You wanted your sons to be big, strong, and faithful, and I was none of those things. I was a shy kid who liked reading. Who liked running. Who liked everything Elon didn’t. He used to call me a sissy and behind closed doors, I know you felt the same. After his accident, it’s like you couldn’t even look me in the eyes because I constantly reminded you of my shortcomings. It wasn’t until I picked up the ball that you showed me any respect. And when I won the state championship in my senior year, it was the first time since Elon’s accident that I felt you loved me.”
Nico’s admission left his father stunned. “That’s not true.”
Nico stood up and wobbled as he caught his footing. He retrieved a bottle of water from the fridge and chugged the whole thing. He tossed the empty bottle into the sink and stepped back to the table, standing over his father. “Perception is reality, and I was a fucking kid who was dealing with shit no kid should have to deal with. You wanted me to be him so bad, well here I am. I’m a fuck-up just like he was.”
“Nico, stop talking,” Natalie interjected softly. “That’s enough.”
“Shut up, Natalie.” Nico closed his eyes and exhaled. “You both have eyes. You have ears. And you have been absolutely blind to what’s been going on for the past six years.” Nico pointed at his father. “I expected it from you.” He turned his aim to Natalie. “But how did you not know?”
“Know what?” Natalie asked softly.
Nico circled the table and looked at his father from across it. “You think you see everything, so look in my eyes and tell me what you see.”
Their father shook his head. “I don’t know who I’m looking at.”
“Look at me!” Nico slammed his fist on the table. “You have no idea the hell I’ve been through.”
“Yeah,” his father scowled. “The life of one of the most popular football players in the world must be miserable. So miserable that you go out and risk ruining it. You’re not invincible, but you are an idiot.”
“Fine,” Nico raised his hands. “I admit it. I’m an idiot.”
“I see we’re finally getting somewhere.”
Nico drummed his fingers on the table as he contemplated throwing up. It seemed easier than the alternative, but if not then, then when?
“I loved him,” Nico whispered.
His father’s eyes drifted upward.
“He broke my heart so many damn times, so I did the thing I was so afraid of him doing to me again. I broke my own heart and I ran.”
His father said nothing.
Natalie said nothing.
It was like he was talking into a void.
Nico raised his fingers to his mouth, pinching at his lips. “I’m sorry you have to find out this way, but I’m tired of pretending to be okay. I’m tired of pretending that the night I won the Super Bowl wasn’t the best night of my life and the worst.”
“Nico—” his father urged him to stop.
