The photographs on the wall were next, and then the paintings. By the time he was done, there was a giant hole in the wall leading to the bathroom. Cooper stood in a battlefield of painful memories and broken glass, with tiny little cuts all over his arms from the debris.
The tears came soon after as he examined the wreckage left behind. Eight years of pain—maybe it was nine, he lost count a while ago—consumed him. Regret followed soon after as he found himself backing away from what he’d done, his back meeting the wall. When he slid to the floor, kicking his sneakers out over broken glass, he realized Stassi wouldn’t be coming to save him like she always did.
It was just Cooper, a broken thing surrounded by broken things, and the promise of sleep as his eyes came to a close.
july 2026 - honolulu
Sometimes, Stassi would text Cooper. Most of the time, he wouldn’t text back. She stopped by the house once to check up on him, but he insisted he was fine.
He was not okay.
Stassi knew him better than anyone in the world and she suggested this new-age thing called therapy. Cooper scoffed at this suggestion because did he seriously come off the type to talk about his feelings? Especially the kind of feelings he needed to talk about?
Three weeks later, he’d gotten rather intimate with an online therapist who accepted anonymous patients. Dr. Jaylen Mazur knew Cooper was a closeted football player, had a dead boyfriend, had an alive ex-ish boyfriend, and a mother he’d rather not talk about.
Between sessions, which were all done through text, Cooper wondered if his head doctor had put the pieces together yet. Surely, with the slightest bit of research, she’d be able to figure it all out.
Cooper was spending the last two weeks of the month in Hawaii before training camp began. He didn’t go to the beach because he didn’t want to be recognized. He long ago grew tired of the looks of sympathy and shame. As it turned out, being left at the altar was more embarrassing for the one who was left than the leaver.
The stories the tabloids told, and only the most non-reputable of them all was anywhere close to the truth. When the sports entertainment site Jocks and Hoops reported the breakup was because Stassi had caught Cooper engaged in a love affair with a former teammate—Matteo Reyes—Cooper was adamant about suing. Tommy, of all people, was the one to talk him down from the ledge, droning on and on about something called the Streisand effect.
Whatever.
Cooper kicked his feet over the arm of the couch and opened up the chat with Dr. Jaylen Mazur.
DR. JAYLEN MAZUR
How are you feeling today, John Doe?
COOPER
I’ve been thinking all day about what I wanted to talk about today. As it turns out, the answer is everything. So to answer your question, I’m not doing well, doc.
DR. JAYLEN MAZUR
We have an hour, so start with the first thing that comes to your mind.
COOPER
This guy once asked me, what are you so afraid of losing when nothing in this world belongs to you?
DR. JAYLEN MAZUR
A famous proverb.
DR. JAYLEN MAZUR
So what are you afraid of losing?
COOPER
The past I can’t let go of.
DR. JAYLEN MAZUR:
You’ve already lost that.
When Mazur said things like that, Cooper was so damn relieved these sessions were not in person. He’d throw things or storm out, whatever the case, there’d be a scene. The words landed differently in the context of a text though. Tough love was what Cooper needed, although it took a few sessions of therapy before he accepted this.
