I brush a hand over Seven’s cheek. Every part of me screams to run, to leave this place without looking back. To leave without trying to save his family because I’m terrified of losing him. Terrified this place is going to drag him to hell with it when it burns to the ground. Stare at him a little too long, then realize there’s something in this picture that doesn’t belong.
The gold ring on my finger.
The same ring that caresses Seven’s skin.
The same ring that binds me to the ghosts of yesterday.
I pull away with a trembling hand. A ghost is incorporeal. It can’t hurt and it can’t touch. A ghost is nothing more than the shadows of trauma, and yet its weight is an anchor capable of sinking the strongest souls.
I turn away from Seven, clamp my fingers around the ring and pry it from my warm flesh. My mind goes back to Kevin's penthouse, three days after I met him. This stupid ring hasn’t left my hand since. It has suffocated me enough.
I toss the ring into the cell.
It lands with a clink against the floor and rolls behind the stained metal toilet.
Out of sight, out of mind. The burial I couldn’t give him. May he find an eternal home in this hellscape. Forever and always, I’ll hate him. But from this day one, I won’t be burdened by his actions.
“I forgive you,” I whisper.
And I forgive myself for all the times I wasn’t strong enough to fight back.
For all the time I wasted.
For all the different versions of myself I could have been.
For living in the dark, away from the harsh light of day.
For dreaming about dying all the fucking time. A vision that always crossed my mind, but one I pushedfurther away with every mile of worn roads. Self-inflicted carnage was always one corner away... until it wasn’t. Until it was the next corner up ahead.
Seven didn’t save me from wanting to die. He just showed up at the right place at the right time. Showed me what love could be, what it should be. Forgiving. On the other side of this, I pray I learn to love myself again. The way he loves me. The way I love him.
CHAPTER 20
SEVEN
Noah ripsthe cross necklace from his neck, breaking it. He tosses it onto the stone floor beside us. “Are you ready to go do something stupid?”
“With you by my side, I don’t think there’s anything we can’t overcome.”
“Where you go, I go.”
“You say it like you don’t mean it.”
“I say it like that because I think you’re being stupid.” He bats his eyes. “Come here. Let me tie that for you.” He grabs both sides of my black tie, does some kind of magic trick, and then tightens it around my throat when he’s done. “You know we’re probably going to die, right?”
I smile as I take his tie in my hands. “Just like Bonnie and Clyde.”
“Just like Thelma and Louise.”
“It’s my family we’re talking about.” I step backand admire my work. It’s not as clean as the knot he tied, but it’s good enough. “I have to try.”
“If I had a family worth fighting for, I’d do exactly the same.” He adjusts the tie, pulling it up to clench at the base of his throat. “Hell, maybe I do have a family.”
“That is the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I’m trying to turn over a new leaf,” he says with a shrug.
I kiss him, short and sweet. There’s not enough time for anything else. “Let’s go get ourselves killed.”
