Noah typically drives right at the speed limit. He says he doesn’t need unwanted attention because of the whole not wanting to be found thing. Now though, he’s racing down the dark, deserted highway with reckless abandon. Drives one-handed so he can chew on his fingernails.
“Noah, I need you to slow down.”
“Can’t do that,” he huffs. “I do my best thinking in silence, so please just let me think.”
“I didn’t see any cameras when we were leaving, but our handprints are on everything.”
“Everyone’s handprints are on everything. It’s a fucking motel that probably hasn’t been deep cleaned since the seventies.” He shoots me aquick glare. “You heard what your old pal said, so I don’t think the police should be what you’re concerned about.”
“More are coming,” I whisper to myself. “I still think you need to slow down. Any attention is bad attention.”
He nods with a laugh, but there’s nothing funny about the situation we’ve found ourselves in. Shakes his head and grits his teeth. “We got a man killed, Seven.”
“No, no.” I shake my head defiantly. The ghosts of what he’s done haunt him like a shadow he can’t outrun. I can’t let him take the fall for this too, because it’ll eat him alive. “That’s on me. Not you.”
“An innocent man is dead.” He shoots me a steely glare. “Does it really matter whose fault it is? He has a family somewhere, and if we hadn’t dragged him into this twisted thing we got going on, they’d be seeing him alive, not in a casket.”
“Can we please just focus on keeping ourselves alive for now? And part of staying alive is not getting caught. We don’t know what anyone saw or heard. It’s best to not draw attention right now.”
The engine roars as we accelerate. The needle on the speedometer inches higher, clocking in at almost eighty-five miles per hour. “This all started as a suicide trip, you know that, right?”
“I know…”
“Maybe it’s time. I can live with a whole lot of things, but I can’t bear the burden of that boy’s deathon my soul. If you just—” He stops himself with a sharp exhale. “If you just?—”
“Just what?”
He doesn’t answer, opting to sit in silence as he races towards the precipice of an inevitable crash.
“I know this is my fault. I should have been more careful. I should have covered my tracks better, but I?—”
“I’m not talking about those people,” he says in a low voice. “I’m talking about Trent.”
And when he shifts his gaze to me, I swear there’s a fucking tear at the corner of his eye. A heaviness swarms my gut like the feeling of a hundred bricks pulling me beneath the surface.
“Why wasn’t I enough?” he continues. “What did you need from him that I haven’t given you?”
It’s a loaded question. One I’m not able to answer given the precarious situation we’ve found ourselves in. The wrong answer could send him crashing into the next stretch of guardrail. The truth is, the only thing I needed from Trent was to make Noah jealous, and mission fucking accomplished there. Needed him to prove I was enough for him, that he could overcome the same obsession with sex that shackles the both of us. He’d never say the words I so desperately want to hear him utter. He’s too guarded and broken, bearing the wounds of endless scars.
Manipulation has always been astrength of mine, but this time, it has cost an innocent man his life. It’s cost me Noah, even if he hasn’t said it yet.
I’m saved from the double-edged sword of answering his question by the flashing of blue and red lights from behind.
CHAPTER 15
NOAH
The faster my heart beats,the more the world slows, teetering toward a sudden halt. Seconds erode into minutes. A lifetime of waiting for the other shoe to finally drop. The pulsing blue and red lights cast a shadow upon the highway patrolman as he approaches the car. He arrives with a knock on the window. It takes a second knock before I find the urgency to crank down the window. When I turn to him, I’m blinded by a flashlight as he searches the car. I blink as the light passes over to Seven, sitting silently in the passenger seat.
He clicks the flashlight off and drops it into a holster on his hip.
“I’m guessing you know why I pulled you over?” He grins, bearing a row of yellow teeth. His breath reeks of tobacco. “That’s a rhetorical question. Doesn’ttake a rocket scientist to know that going thirty over the speed limit is quite the offense.”
“Yeah.” I force a smile, hoping to match his energy. “I’m sorry about that. We’ve been driving through the night, and I guess I’m just anxious to get off the road and get some sleep.”
“You’re a long way from Manhattan.” He taps his fingers on the roof of the car. “I consider myself a generous guy and look, I get it.” He brings a pointed finger to his skull. “Sometimes when we’re tired, we don’t think straight.” He looks away with a huff. “Sometimes, some people don’t ever think straight.”
“What the hell are you implying?” I scowl and am met with a jab of Seven’s elbow against my side. “I’m just tired.”
