“I told you that, in Bath, such matters hold less importance. I wish to witness your courage in other circumstances.”
“It is not a matter of courage, Mr Darcy. It is more about reflecting on the consequences of my actions and decidingwhether they are worth pursuing or result only in loss…for me. Do not forget I am a lady.”
“I can hardly do that,” he said and laughed, but then he continued in haste as if he wanted to erase his last words, “Do you approachallsituations with such deliberation?”
Elizabeth had the acute feeling that they were entering dangerous territory and had to proceed with caution.
“Unfortunately, I do not,” she confessed, surprising him with her candour. He paused to invite her to cross the street and enter the park, but in truth, he only wanted to study her. Elizabeth did not avert her gaze or show unnecessary timidity. Her eyes remained fixed on his, and she met his scrutiny until the last carriage had passed, allowing them to cross safely.
“That is good to know,” he remarked, his voice sounding less confident for the first time that morning. But she did not know him well enough to be sure.
Even though she hoped her words would lead to a deeper conversation, it was not to be. From that point until their families found them, he spoke solely about Bath, as if there were no other subject of interest between them. Elizabeth tried to accept that he did not wish to delve into their personal matters.
Then, to her delight, he abandoned the trivial subjects concerning the houses and streets of Bath and spoke to her of the balls that took place in the Pump Room.
“I am quite curious how a ball could take place in that room. Do we have to drink the waters and dance afterwards?” Elizabeth said jokingly yet utterly interested whether Darcy would attend the June Ball in the Grand Pump Room.
“Will you attend the ball?” he asked, surprising her with his ignorance. Fortunately, Lady Oakham’s designs were subtle enough to have deflected any suspicion of a scheme between the ladies. Yet his question altered Elizabeth’s mood at once. Even though it was deemed a popular ball, its attendance wascarefully managed by the organisers. And in this case,carefullymeant that only thetonand their close acquaintances could attend.
“Yes,” she answered, ready to meet any disagreeable comment with equal sharpness.
“Excellent,” he replied, to her surprise, in a tone of easy good humour. “I was uncertain whether I should attend, but the prospect of dancing with you makes it a pleasure I cannot forgo!”
∞∞∞
“He no longer loves me!” she lamented during a rare moment of solitude with her aunt.
“That remains uncertain. You walked alone for half an hour, and when we approached, we imagined that he had already proposed to you, judging by how he gazed at you. But then he saw us, and his expression changed. However, he did not seem annoyed or uninterested in your walk. I continue to believe that a man of his nature does not fall in love every month. Yet, we do not know how your refusal has affected his feelings, intentions, and decisions.”
“He may have discovered a side of me that he found displeasing. Back in Kent, I was angry and aggressive—”
“That was indeed not the best side of yourself to exhibit to a man. I hope he knows that it is not your usual disposition and that his declaration and confessions were too painful and vexing to be taken lightly.”
“I do not even know who I am any longer. What if I am indeed that deranged woman who hurled those dreadful accusations at him?”
“We all experience moments of madness. I am pleased to see that you have arrived at a cordial harmony with him.”
“I do not wish to be friends with him,” Elizabeth whispered, her distress evident.
“I understand, my dear, but that is all you can expect for now. He mentioned that he is attending the ball for your sake, and he does not find it disagreeable that you will be in the company of your…family. These are remarkable steps, but I advise you not to harbour high expectations.”
“I am not Jane.”
“Unfortunately, we all become ‘Janes’ when we face such intense emotions. But let me ask you this—how do you suppose he could see any change in your feelings?”
And indeed, that question became the most significant one of her life. How could she show him that her sentiments had shifted? But then her fears swarmed her, for revealing her emotions would place her in a terribly embarrassing situation if he no longer loved her.
As she prepared for sleep that night, she recognised that fighting for love was far more complicated than she had ever imagined. Nevertheless, her heart would not let her abandon a battle that presently looked more like a pleasant path to knowing each other better.
∞∞∞
Indeed, those days spent in Bath passed with tranquillity, friendly conversations, and barely sketched smiles. Despite its architectural splendour and elegant ladies, even the ball at the Grand Pump Room seemed to Elizabeth more like an assembly in Meryton than an exclusive gathering of theton. People laughed and exchanged jokes without knowing one another, and some even drank the waters while the couples danced.
An orchestra played all the fashionable melodies of London, but, to Elizabeth’s surprise, dancing was not the chief occupation of the young people present as it was in Meryton. Many strolled about the room or engaged in conversation, and some even stepped outside into the park that she and Darcy had walked through on several occasions in the preceding days.
Then he invited her to dance, and as they stood face-to-face for a moment, she recalled the ball at Netherfield and wondered what it might have meant had she read admiration in his eyes then and had she discovered that her feelings for him were not what she had once imagined. Perhaps, after the evening in which they had unveiled their hearts, there might have followed a day in which neither of them would have departed…but such thoughts were idle speculation. In Bath, she stood before him, and the admiration in his eyes was undeniable.
Later, as they rested with glasses of lemonade in hand, he drew unexpectedly close and spoke near her ear, “I used to believe I hated dancing in the Pump Room in Bath.”
