They settled on the bench, and Elizabeth’s tears began to flow freely, her composure crumbling, leaving Charlotte bewildered and curious at the same time.
“What has happened?” Charlotte asked. Elizabeth remained silent, incapable of speech.
“Elizabeth, what has happened? What is the meaning of that letter?”
Through her tears, Elizabeth looked at her in astonishment.
“I was in the drawing-room, looking out of the window, when Mr Darcy handed it to you.”
For a while, they remained silent, for Elizabeth was still unable to speak. In truth, she was struggling against that harrowing feeling that had taken hold of her—a feeling she knew to be affection, a longing for a man she had lost.
“Heavens!” Charlotte went on, studying her closely, “Mr Darcy did not come for an ordinary visit, did he?”
Elizabeth shook her head instead of offering any reply.
“What did he do? Did he ask for your hand?” Charlotte cried, and Elizabeth froze, for in her friend’s face, she saw not merely astonishment but something akin to fear. It was such an odd combination that Elizabeth wiped her tears away and offered a sad smile and a nod.
“I refused him. Do not worry,” she said, keeping her eyes fixed on her friend, who, at that moment, seemed more tormented than she.
“You refused him?” Charlotte murmured. “How could such a thing be possible?”
Only then did Elizabeth realise that, to everyone around her, her action was incomprehensible, even foolish; Charlotte had married Mr Collins after knowing him only a few days.
“Are you surprised that a woman said no to the great Fitzwilliam Darcy?” Elizabeth replied, her sad voice tinged with a hint of sarcasm.
“I am, my dear. I am utterly surprised. It is an opportunity that will occur only once in one’s life. A woman cannot refuse such a proposal.”
Elizabeth had the odd feeling that Charlotte’s words were in utter contradiction to what she was thinking. Charlotte was shocked by her refusal but not upset. But that afternoon, Elizabeth was in need of someone, and beside her on the narrow bench sat her lifelong friend, and for a few hours, that was all that mattered. Charlotte listened to her and comforted her like she used to do back home, and that dissolved any doubts she might have had regarding her old friend. And finally it was gratifying to know that she was leaving Kent with at least one positive outcome: their long friendship had endured the trials, and she still had in Charlotte a dear companion.
∞∞∞
That evening, when Charlotte entered their bedchamber, she found her husband wearing an expression bordering on cheerfulness, and quite unintentionally, she too felt her spirits lift. The marriage of Elizabeth to Mr Darcy would have been a calamity that would almost certainly have strained, if not severed, their relationship with Lady Catherine—at least for a time. Charlotte felt relieved yet deeply astonished that Elizabeth had refused what was undoubtedly the most prestigious proposal of marriage a young woman from their neighbourhood could ever have received.
“You appear to be in good spirits, Mr Collins,” she said with a trace of affection in her voice, confident that the news of Elizabeth rejecting Mr Darcy would delight him even more.
Yet he merely continued to smile and said plainly, “Cousin Elizabeth refused Mr Darcy’s proposal.” The statement plunged Charlotte into a state of profound astonishment. It was the very news she had hoped to hear from him.
“How do you know such a thing?” she asked.
And Mr Collins replied with perfect composure, “I was in the adjoining room when he proposed to her.” Not a single muscle in his face twitched; on the contrary, his cheerfulness deepened, while Charlotte reflected that the only place from which he could have overheard the conversation was the small, unused, and unfurnished music room where, indeed, she had noticed a solitary chair only a few days before.
∞∞∞
On her final evening in Kent, to Elizabeth’s surprise, Lady Catherine once more invited them to dine. She was tempted to decline, stating she needed to prepare for her journey, but ultimately, she decided to go.
As she entered the drawing-room at Rosings, she wondered what it would have meant to appear that evening at Darcy’s side as his betrothed. Lady Catherine would probably have poisoned her dinner, she thought, smiling wryly to herself as she curtsied before the elderly lady, who, unexpectedly cheerful, spoke at length about how Anne was to travel to London and then, in the summer, to Pemberley, likely accompanied by herself.
For a fleeting moment, Elizabeth wondered whether Mr Darcy had confided in her—whether Lady Catherine knew of her refusal. But she quickly banished the thought. Fitzwilliam Darcy was not a man given to confessions, and a humiliating refusal was certainly not something he would wish to be known.
The visit to Kent concluded without further unforeseen events. Yet, as Charlotte accompanied her to the carriage, Elizabeth experienced a strange moment when she turned to her friend and whispered, “The truth is, I love him, and I have not given up on him.”
All the way to London, she thought of those words, which—though she had proffered them—seemed as if they did not belong to her. For half the journey, she told herself she had said them merely out of some mischievous desire to leave Charlotte a little less assured about their future relationship with Rosings. But then, gazing at the beautiful sunlit sky, she admitted toherself that it could be what she truly wished—that she would not give up on him.
It was a foolish desire, considering his letter—so sorrowful, so final in its tone of parting. And yet, deep within her heart, there stirred a longing she did not want to fight—or could not.
Chapter 18
Elizabeth found Mrs Gardiner and Jane awaiting her in a state of profound anxiety that they tried to hide behind smiles and words of welcome. She had written to them both, recounting the events in Hunsford and including in Jane’s letter a desperate plea for the return of her beloved sister, who had been lost in a sorrow that had lingered for far too long. Jane was essential to restoring her spirits and helping her navigate the torment she had endured since Mr Darcy’s proposal.
