“How do I look?” he asked, adopting the same casual tone that suited him so well. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine they would have a typical conversation like so many in the past. Perhaps his voice was less intense, but only because he did not want to make too great an effort to speak.
“Acceptable,” she replied, blushing because she felt as though he had read her expression.
“I wish us to keep clear heads and see things as they are, not as we might wish them to be,” he said, abruptly steering the conversation towards the matter he longed to discuss with her.
Elizabeth breathed deeply as she looked at him. She had not lied—her composure was painful to maintain.
“Miss Bennet—” he began, then, gazing at her, corrected himself. “Elizabeth,” he said, for that was her name, the name he had long wished to use and which he could now finally utter. But in doing so, he gave her the first hint of the direction their conversation was taking. Although she could not yet guess in detail what he wished to ask, she realised he wanted her to remain with him until the end. And that end suddenly became a terrifying reality, and she struggled to hold back her tears.
“You are not going to cry, are you?” he asked with great affection and a hint of firmness, for there was no time for tears.
“No, Fitzwilliam,” she replied. “But I may shed a few tears without my knowledge.”
“You are beautiful regardless,” he murmured. Both of them knew that the words he had spoken at the Meryton assembly were untrue—even then, they had been the reverse of the pleasure he had felt when he first beheld her.
With her dark hair tied in a ribbon of bright red and her pale face glowing in the intense light of his room, she seemed like a fairy descended to delight his eyes and heart. Yet his heartwas now in peril, and there was no time to tell her how deeply he loved her—except through his gaze.
“You wonder why I summoned you. Perhaps you thought my family was large enough to have others to call upon in such a moment. Perhaps that is so, but you are precisely the person Georgiana and I need now. Even though you refused to be my wife when I asked, I showed how deeply I love you and how much I trusted you to offer you my life.”
“I understand why you have calledme,” she said, for that was precisely what she had imagined, though she still did not know what he expected of her.
“You wonder what I expect from you,” he said, and Elizabeth had the peculiar sensation that he could read her mind from where he hovered between worlds. A chill of fear coursed through her, for everything she had ever felt for him no longer held; all the resentment, the anger, the frustrations had been replaced by a singular desire to do anything for him.
“I do not see what you want me to do for you.”
Darcy nodded slightly. “I have given much thought to what I should say to you, and it all rests upon a conversation we have had in various forms nearly every time we have spoken earnestly—your desire to live your life differently from what is imposed upon a woman in our society. Freely, without constraints, even working to secure your daily bread. Is that true?”
“Of course it is true,” she replied, momentarily forgetting the gravity of their situation, dreaming instead of being in the library at Netherfield or at one of Lady Catherine’s dinners, where he had shown himself in agreement with her ideas.
“Elizabeth, it is precisely what I am proposing to you. To become an independent woman, free, with a comfortable income that will allow you to live a good life and have the time to build it as you see fit, unbound by material considerations.”
“How?” she whispered, looking into his eyes—for the first time since she had arrived. His eyes were green; she was not certain she had known that before. His gaze held her captive in a state impossible to understand, yet not for a moment did she wish to flee that room.
“Elizabeth, I have never been a man to shirk obstacles. This, however, is the greatest of them all—to set things in an order that will continue to work when…I am no longer here.”
Unintentionally, Elizabeth let out a sigh, but she knew that was not the way. She had to be strong; Elizabeth Bennet—slightly sarcastic and suspicious but altruistic and devoted to the very core of her heart.
“I am listening,” she said in a tone that reflected her resolve, and he inclined his head in gratitude.
“This house and the estate at Pemberley require a firm hand to oversee them. Georgiana needs an adult by her side until she marries, someone to guide her and ensure she does not fall prey to fortune hunters—”
“And you thought that I could be that person?” she asked in astonishment, though in truth less than might have been expected, for she had already sensed, somewhere deep within, that he would ask this of her.
“Yes, you are the only soul in this world free to assume such a role in whom I have boundless trust.”
“Thank you,” she said, clearly moved by his words. “And what would you have me be? A housekeeper?” she asked without a trace of sarcasm, quickly reflecting on whether she was prepared to say yes. But Darcy laughed softly, looking at her.
“Elizabeth, you are exceedingly naïve at times. Firstly, we have the most capable housekeepers both here and at Pemberley. Secondly, how could a housekeeper accomplish something so intricate…and enduring?”
“So you wish to hire me for a role greater than a housekeeper?” She looked at him questioningly, for she could not imagine what other position she might hold. Perhaps Georgiana’s companion was a possibility, but how could someone employed to care for his sister also manage his estate or fortune?
“No, Elizabeth, I would never presume to ask you to join the servants of this house or Pemberley. Any such position would be unworthy of you. You were born to give orders, not to take them,” he said, laughing softly as he gazed at her, remembering a conversation they had had while dancing. But that was another life, one he tried to forget.
“What then? What remains?” Elizabeth asked, still not understanding his thoughts.
“To marry me.”
“Darcy!” she called out with force but stopped, instantly horrified at her violent tone.
