Fitzroy
The letters were so intimate, so full of sentiment, that Elizabeth had the feeling she was reading her own words or Darcy’s. They shared the same urge to be with their loved ones.
“I do not remember that morning, but they probably did take a walk.”
As she handed the letters to Elizabeth, Lady Edwina would take a quick look at each of them, deciding whether to let an incredibly daring message be read. She feared that, with such passion, inevitably, some would appear that should not be unveiled at the dinner table. The letters would remain in their possession, and it was for each of them to decide whether they wanted to read those intimate ones.
But after that first night’s messages, Edwina began searching and then looked at them, obviously puzzled.
“What is it?” Darcy asked. He was eager to hear all, as he wanted dinner to end so he could go to Elizabeth’s room. He tried not to be impatient. He would have preferred to marry her immediately, as he had suggested to Elizabeth more than once because thewedding daywas not essential for him. He understood her reticence but clearly he did not approve it. His love was suddenly so close to his mother’s feelings. As strange as it might seem, he sometimes forgot that the messages were for his mother. They were more like a well-written novel that Edwina was narrating and his beloved Elizabeth was reading. Or they could be about them.
Edwina looked at him, astonished, and finally said, “For the next days, there are no messages!”
“Perhaps Mama misplaced them,” Georgiana said, not understanding her concern.
“No, no!” Edwina said. “They are in a precise order. Perhaps they are lost or perhaps—”
She stopped; her thought was impossible to share with Lady Anne’s children.
But they were of age—the girls clearly less initiated than Darcy was—however, they were young women capable of understanding that, during those days, Anne and Fitzroy had been together all the time without the need for written messages. Lady Edwina was in a state of shock about a story thirty yearsold. Anne had been with Fitzroy the second day of their love—and the second night! As incredible as it might seem, knowing Anne, Edwina had to admit they were lovers! Love could perform incredible changes.
How could she have been so naïve and not seen the change in her friend during those two long days? Lady Edwina was more than shocked: she was angry with her long-dead friend. Anne had kept all her secrets, even from her. She had been the first one Anne ran to, telling her she was in love, but all that followed was veiled, obviously a decision Anne had taken to protect their love.
“We returned from my aunt’s, and I became seriously ill. I was delirious for many days, and everybody thought I was going to die. It was not consumption but a severe lung infection. My mother was hopeless, so your grandmother decided to stay with Anne and try to help. As I have already told you, my mother and your grandmother were close friends. This is how Anne had all the liberty to see Fitzroy. My brother was also ill, the house was in an uproar, and her doings were not observed as they would have been during normal times.”
I shall come to collect you at ten o’clock. I shall be waiting for you near the corner, as usual.
I feared someone would see you coming home so late…or so early! We have to be more prudent in the future, but how can I when my only thought from morning till night is to see you, to feel you, to be near you. I discovered that one of my uncles has an estate near your house where I can be a guest when you return home.
Almost all the messages were short and full of indications for the next meeting.
“They lived together, and no one knew!”
This was the wildest thing we did, sleeping in your bed till morning. Perhaps the best way of being together is to let them catch me and oblige me to marry you! Will you then be my wife? I imagine your father coming to mine with the news—all my father’s plans overturned. I shall not be a prince in an unknown German state but obliged to marry the Earl of Matlock’s daughter.
“You will recall that his father wanted him to marry a German heiress with ties to the royal family.”
Lady Edwina was again speaking with eyes open to the past; they listened to this fragmented story with saddened hearts, for unlike the two protagonists, they knew the ending. It was so sad, so tragic.
“I do not understand what happened!” Darcy said. “And it is obvious we shall not discover much more. The letters are short, and no details about the events can be known.”
“There were love declarations but not the circumstances of their love and meetings,” Georgiana said sadly, wishing to know every detail.
“Yes! And I know so little. I was ill for two or three weeks and, afterwards, too feeble for her to share her thoughts. She might have told me things, but I have no memory of them. And the situation developed with such haste that it had already ended when I was well again.”
I am so happy, Anne. It is the happiest day of my life, but then again, I say that every morning when I wake up and remember you are mine.
“No doubt, after he proposed to her and she accepted, he gave her that ring. What happiness there must have been! Theythought that somehow the duke would be induced to accept their marriage. I wish I knew the complete story, but I have an impression that it was not because of my illness that she did not tell me more; rather, they decided it should be that way. I suppose Fitzroy knew from the beginning his father would oppose the marriage, and they decided to keep the secret from everybody.”
I long for you—for your body next to mine!
Elizabeth stopped, blushing with embarrassment, and tried not to look around the table. She had taken a letter without Edwina seeing her, as the lady seemed utterly lost in the past. But the colour in Elizabeth’s cheeks did not fade; Darcy was sure it was not only the letters that troubled her but also her own feelings. She could not read anymore.
So Darcy stood, kissed Lady Edwina’s hand, and invited everybody to retire for the night.
“We have had a most difficult day. It is time for reflection and rest.”
Only Georgiana looked disappointed and sad. She would have liked the evening to go on, to read all her mama’s letters. so Lady Edwina handed her the letters with a smile that filled Georgiana’s heart with happiness. Her godmother considered her old enough to read all the messages. It was a rite of passage from girlhood to maturity that Lady Edwina performed for her in her mother’s absence. Georgiana was so delighted that she forgot to say goodnight, eager to be alone in her apartment with the cherished missives. Only the letters for the duke remained on the table. They were still tied with a ribbon, as nobody dared to open them.
