"It's not about what's sufficient. It's about what's necessary to keep her from taking legal action." His hands came up to cover hers where they worked on his cravat. "I can't lose this estate, Clara. Not because I care about it, but because if I lose it, I lose any ability to protect you."
"You don't need to protect me. I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself."
"Against Aunt Agatha's social connections? Against the weight of societal disapproval? Against the rumors that will follow you wherever you go?"
"I've survived worse things than rumors."
"Have you? Because from what I understand, rumors are what drove you from your position in Bath, and rumors are what will prevent you from finding decent employment when you leave here."
Clara's hands stilled. "When I leave, not if?"
Gabriel's jaw tightened. "I'm trying to be realistic about our situation, despite every instinct telling me to lock you in this room and refuse to let you go."
"That would signify abduction.”
"It would be preservation of sanity, mine specifically."
She finished with his cravat, but neither of them moved apart. "You have to dance with her tonight," Clara said quietly. "Multiple times, probably. You have to smile and be charming and make it appear that you're genuinely interested in courtship."
"I'm aware of what's required. I'm also aware that I'd rather eat broken glass."
"Miss Ashworth is perfectly nice."
"Miss Ashworth is a child who deserves better than being used as a prop in my aunt's matrimonial theatrics."
"Then be kind to her. She's as much a victim in this as anyone."
"I am fully aware.” He pulled Clara closer, resting his forehead against hers. "But how am I supposed to hold another woman when all I want is you?"
"The same way I'm supposed to watch you hold another woman with grace, dignity, and an enormous amount of barely suppressed rage that we'll channel into something more productive later."
"Such as?"
"Such as you'd better not ask questions you don't want answered, Your Grace, because my self-control is hanging by a thread as it is."
His hands moved to her waist, pulling her flush against him. "What if I want it answered? What if I want to know exactly what you're imagining when you watch me dance with another woman?"
"Gabriel, we can't…"
"Can't what? We're already sharing a bed, already confessing love, already breaking every rule we established. What's one more line crossed?"
"It's the most important line. The one that changes everything permanently."
"Everything's already changed."
"Not irrevocably."
"You think this is revocable? You think I could go back to not loving you, not wanting you, not needing you like I need air?"
Clara pulled away, needing distance before she gave in to the desire coursing through her. "You have to. In less than three weeks, you'll have to do exactly that."
"No, I'll have to pretend to do that. There's a significant difference."
"The effect is the same."
"The effect is that I'll be dead inside while walking around pretending to be alive, but if that's what you prefer…"
"What I prefer is irrelevant. What matters is what's necessary for both of us to survive this with dignity."
