She nodded. “Well, I told Maya and…and Connor.”
Lucy’s arms tightened around her, and Maddie tilted her head back slightly. “Connor?” she asked, puzzled. “You told him everything before you told us?”
“I know.” She narrowed her eyes. “You should have been the first, but it was easier to tell him. He doesn’t judge me for anything, and…”
“He doesn’t judge?” Maddie’s voice rose an octave. “Are we talking about the same man?”
“He just has his principles. He’s not really evil or an asshole. He just has a short temper and gets loud too easily. But…he’s a good guy.”
Lucy looked at her, mouth open. “Rachel. Have you fallen in love with the enemy?”
“He’s not the enemy!” she said quickly.
“But he is, sort of,” Maddie murmured, blinking at her in confusion. “I may be the nice sister, but Connor thinks Match Me! is a joke, Rachel. You know that. And I thought it made you as angry as it made me!”
“It did,” she said seriously. “But…” She trailed off.
“You’ve fallen in love with him,” Maddie stated softly.
She nodded because it was the truth. “He understands me. He’s funny and sensitive, and…”
“And a divorce lawyer by conviction,” Lucy whispered. “He doesn’t want anything serious, does he? He just said out there it’s only sex between the two of you.”
“Yes, but he didn’t mean it like that…”
That was how she wanted to leave it, but at the same time, she didn’t know if it was the truth. Had he meant it?
Uncertain, Lucy looked at her — and Rachel hated that the same uncertainty was eating away at her.
“Don’t you want to get married?” Maddie asked, irritated. “And have kids? Isn’t that actually pretty important to you?”
I’ll never get married. You know that.
Rachel bit her lip. “Well, yeah…I’ve always wanted to get married.” She'd always wanted to have a man who knew with certainty that she was the one for him, who would give his all and always work on their marriage. Even if it wasn’t perfect. Relationships fell apart quickly. They could end as soon as someone had doubts. But when you got married…you promised yourself that you’d at least try to overcome your doubts. And Rachel possessed so many qualities that could make people doubt!
“So, what are you doing with him?” Lucy asked. “What’s…your goal? Are you together? A real couple?”
“We’re sex-leasing,” Rachel replied meekly.
Lucy almost laughed. “Nice.”
“Lucy!” Maddie exclaimed, exasperated.
“What? It’s a cool term. I’ll remember that one.”
“Yeah, but Rachel said she’s ready to find the love of her life,” Maddie said, uncharacteristically heated. “And not the…fuck buddy next door.”
Lucy stared at her, shocked. “Maddie, that choice of words coming from you.”
“Well, it’s true.” She waved a hand in exasperation before turning back to Rachel. “Do you know how many women I’ve seen him go home with, Rachel?”
“About as many as Dax and Matt did before they got together with us?” Lucy asked, interested.
Maddie frowned. “Oh, you’re right. That argument is moot.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway. What I’m saying, Rachel, is that if Connor truly believes it’sonlysex, but you say you’re in love and want marriage and kids…maybe you should talk to him about what you are, or what you can be long-term.”
Yes. Probably. But she’d been so successful ignoring the thought for the past few weeks!
Rachel blinked and sniffed, her heart tightening sweetly and heavily. “Now that I’ve opened up to you,” she whispered, “does that mean I’ll constantly get unsolicited advice from you?”
