“Your brother can make me incredibly angry.”
Alec laughed. “Yes, he has a talent for that. But that wasn’t the question.”
He was right, so she murmured, “Yes, I like him.” It was true.
“Good.” Alec seemed satisfied and pulled his vibrating phone from his pocket, a message flashing across the display that made him laugh.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, confused.
“Oh, just Connor. He says if I touch you, I’m dead,” he remarked, amused.
She looked at him, her mouth gaping. “He… What?”
“Oh-so charming, my brother,” Alec replied lightly.
Oh God. She put a hand to her forehead. “He’s an idiot. He can’t say something like that!”
“Oh, I’m sure he means it in the kindest way possible,” Alec said with a grin. “I don’t blame him. I think Connor hasn’t quite come to terms with his feelings for you yet,” he mused. “To be honest, I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“So completely idiotic, you mean?”
“Oh, no. Idiocy runs in the family. So…desperate because, for the first time, he can’t control what he feels.” He smiled. “That scares him.”
“Did he control his feelings before?”
“He didn’t allow them in the first place, Rachel,” he whispered.
Something fluttered in her chest, spreading warmth. Perhaps a swarm of butterflies had flown too close to the sun. “You act like I’m special,” she murmured uncomfortably, pulling her phone from her pocket.
“Are you going to tell Connor he can’t send me messages like that?” Alec asked.
“Well, someone should tell him he’s a complete idiot, right?” she replied defensively.
Alec chuckled. “Well, then…yes, Rachel, maybe you are special. To him, at least, you seem perfect.”
Perfect. For him, she was perfect right now…but for how long? Ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach, she pushed thoughts of the future aside and quickly typed:If Alec touches me, he’s dead?
Connor’s reply followed promptly.What about it?
She snorted.What was that again about not claiming ownership of me?
It’s not ownership. I thought we both had more of a…sex-lease agreement. We try things out to get a peek at what we’re buying.
Laughing, she put her phone away. Asex-lease agreement. Yes, she could work with that.
For about the next two weeks, Rachel ate breakfast with Alec three times — and went to bed with Connor ten times. It waspossible she hadn't slept alone a single night. Unintentionally! Definitely not planned.
It was just that Connor always left things he desperately needed in her bedroom – a tie, a sock, his keys – and naturally, he had to come over and get them, and…then he wouldn’t leave. But evenings alone were overrated, and now that Rachel knew she really couldn’t stand a quiet life, she enjoyed the fact that things were never boring with Connor.
They discussed many things: cacti, coffee cultivation, astronomy, pub quiz questions, politics, friendships, their jobs, and if Connor was a complete idiot for not liking dessert. Strangely, it never felt like an argument, even when they grew loud. It was just fun to have someone take every word she said seriously and not steamroll her. There was no shying away from challenges, with him. He liked it when she got a little testy, found it funny when she snidely claimed that the only reason he didn’t watch Disney movies was because the heroic characters would give him a complex. And he knew how to silence her when it got to be too much.
Perfect Rachel would have worried that a relationship with so much squabbling, even if it was only a sex-leasing relationship, wouldn’t be good for her inner balance. But the real Rachel knew better: everyone was different. And she’d possibly never had so much fun with a man outside of bed.
Which, of course, she didn’t tell Connor because the man’s ego was big enough, as it was. Although…maybe it was just the right size. Because she might have underestimated confident men who stood up for their opinions, but also allowed their partner to have their own. Men who didn’t leave every decision up to her might sometimes offer her brain a break. Men who she didn’t always have to listen to, but who were interested in her every thought, weren’t such a bad find.
In Connor’s presence, she felt like the most fascinating, impressive, smartest, and wittiest creature on the planet. And strangely enough, with him, she also felt she had the right to be all of that.
She’d wasted so many dates trying not to intimidate guys, asking them stupid questions to make them feel smart, trying to be the woman they might like. In the process, she’d become a woman she no longer liked. She had been a women who might have appeared perfect on the outside…but if she was honest, society’s definition ofperfectwas just terribly wrong!
