That was exactly what she had wanted to change when the brain aneurysm burst in Betty James’s head, taking her father’s heart and mind with it. Her dad hadn’t responded well to losing his wife. He had let grief and despair win years ago and it was wearing on him and the rest of the family. He had suffered from depression for almost five years. Instead of trying to overcome it, he wore the illness like a silver shield and a badge of merit,as if all other widowers were deficient if they didn’t honor their deceased partners by dedicating the rest of their lives to grief.
Maddie and Lucy had taken care of him as best they could. They'd made sure the house didn’t fall into disrepair, that he ate enough and showered, but he still refused to go to a therapist. Rachel knew that her sisters expected her to persuade him to do so – to get him to finally help himself.
She was absolutely the wrong person for that, though.
“Dad’s okay,” Maddie said hesitantly, exchanging a nervous glance with Lucy. “He misses Mom. Like we all do.”
Rachel lowered her gaze.
“He’s been asking about you, you know.” Lucy said casually. “You haven’t seen him yet?”
Rachel looked away and dug her fingertips into the sand. “No. I’ve been so busy moving. The rest of my things are arriving tomorrow, and then I need to get settled in, get a little more comfortable with Match Me!” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either.
You have to tell them. Maya’s voice forced its way into Rachel’s mind for the dozenth time, but…she was so afraid of hurting her sisters, of disappointing them.
Shit.
“He’s doing better,” Lucy continued when Rachel had nothing more to say in her defense. “He sometimes comes with us to the Hawks games. He even went shopping alone the other day. But…” She took a deep breath, seemingly steeling herself for a fight Rachel didn’t want at all. “We could use some help – you realize that, right? You’re the trained therapist. If anyone can get him to break his vicious cycle, you can.”
“After you’ve settled in, of course,” Maddie added hastily.
Lucy looked at her with pursed lips. “Maddie…”
“She just moved here, Lucy, don’t overwhelm her right now, or…”
She broke off.
“Or what? She’ll leave again?” Lucy asked sharply. She wasn’t big on sparing people's feelings.
Maddie bit her lip. “It’s obvious something’s wrong with her, okay?” she whispered heatedly. “Something happened in Chicago. I’m not naive or stupid, Lucy. I’m tactful!”
“You’retootactful!” Lucy snapped.
“You can never betootactful…”
“Hey,” Rachel said loudly, straightening her back. She hated this conversation. “Stop it, okay? I don’t want to argue.”
“Well, it’s not always about whatyouwant, Rachel,” Lucy explained dryly. “Even though it may have seemed that way to you your entire life because you were Mom’sPerfect Rachel.” There was a bitter tone in her voice, but her gaze was still warm. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, just get an explanation. “But Dad’s been asking about you. He's wondering why his oldest daughter has been here for almost a week, but hasn’t returned any of his calls.”
“I want to get a few things sorted out before I deal with Dad, okay?” Rachel replied tensely, trying to channel her old self, the one who had always been levelheaded and calm. But it was so incredibly difficult right now.
“What kind of things?” Lucy shot back.
Rachel swallowed. “I’ll tell you later, not now.”
“Whynot?”
Her eyes burned. “Because Ican’tyet.” What if Maddie and Lucy didn’t believe her? What if they turned their backs on her like the rest of her friends had?
“God, Rachel,” Lucy said, frustrated. “You were the perfect daughter — and then Mom died, and you decided it wasn’t worth being perfect forusanymore? You were only perfect for Mom because you were her favorite daughter. Because she took you to work and went out for ice cream or to the movies with you, whileshe left us with Dad. Because you were the oldest and already oh-so-mature, smart, and popular.”
She gritted her teeth. “I wasnother favorite daughter, Lucy,” she snapped at her sister heatedly. Loudly. Enough was enough. “I was her damn best friend. And daughters shouldn’t be best friends. Sometimes, we should just be daughters!”
Because the responsibility was too damn big.
Lucy stared at her in shock. “You got…loud. Since when do you get loud?” she asked, perplexed.
Rachel rubbed her forehead. Shit. Yeah, since when?
