She wanted Gareth so much, liked him so much, that she was willing to give up everything she’d worked so hard for over the past few years. God, had she just seriously considered releasing Devreaux and letting Leon Alvarez slip through her fingers? Just to make Gareth happy? What was wrong with her?
With every second, her breathing grew shallower as she gripped her skirt with her fingers and Gareth exchanged angry words with his father…
But it didn’t matter what he said — he couldn’t change what people would think or how they would look at her. He hadn’t been able to do it at Harvard and it was no different now. Nothing was any different!
Fuck. She should never have let it get this far! She should have been more careful. She was in too deep. Things with Gareth should have been superficial. Just sex. Not another trigger for her to stop listening to her own conscience. She’d been so in lovewith the bastard once that she’d risked her entire future for him — and she was doing it again!
No one would doubt Gareth’s competence if it came out that they were having an affair, but she’d be screwed. He’d be a hotshot, and she’d be a slut. Just like he’d been the guy at Harvard who took pity on the poor girl from the ghetto — and she’d been the gold digger who snagged a millionaire heir. Gareth cast too large a shadow and she’d drown in it. She...she...
She bit her trembling lip. How could she be so careless as to put her desires and goals behind his again?
It wouldn’t have mattered to him if he even passed the state exam, but if she hadn’t given one hundred percent just to make his life easier… No! No, no, no. That couldn’t happen again…
“Sorry, I should go,” she whispered as she turned and hurried through the crowd to the door.
“Hazel!” Gareth called after her worriedly, but she ignored him. She needed distance. Her heart pounded too loudly, the air was too stuffy, and fear made her shiver. The consequences of the past few weeks hung over her neck like a cleaver, ready to fall.
She had hoped the air outside in the corridor would be clear, but it was still too stuffy and loud. Perhaps it wasn’t coming from outside, but from inside. What if someone had heard Mr. Clark? What if the rumor was already spreading that Hazel was sleeping with Gareth?
“What the hell am I doing?” she whispered, stumbling around the next corner and leaning against the wall, her heart pounding. Her knees were shaking too much to keep going. She needed to calm down. There was still time for damage control, nothing was lost…and yet she felt like she was back in her mid-twenties, about to break the one truly important promise she’d made to herself. For Gareth, for a man who had nothing to lose – but complete control over her happiness. Who had alreadyproven to her that he could make her life hell if he wanted to. Why…
“Hazel.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Social conduct for hate-free inter-colleague teamwork
Short: SCHIT
How about a little anarchy?
Startled, she looked up.
Gareth was standing in front of her, looking at her worriedly…and her lungs convulsed so violently that she felt dizzy. The fear in her stomach mingled with the warmth in her chest that automatically rose in Gareth’s presence and made her forget all her worries.
But that was the problem, wasn’t it?
“Hazel, I’m sorry!” Gareth gritted his teeth. “My father doesn’t know what he’s talking about and I convinced him otherwise, so…”
She forced a smile and shook her head. It didn’t matter if Mr. Clark knew what he was talking about — because a lack of information didn’t stop people from talking shit.
“It’s okay,” she lied hoarsely. “Everything…everything is fine.”
“Are you sure?” Gareth looked around the deserted hallway before gently running his index finger down her cheek. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
She had. She'd seen herself, seven years ago.
“It’s nothing.” She looked away and pulled his hand away from her face. She couldn’t think straight with him looking at her and touching her like that. She needed distance. Only then could she calmly consider what to do and how she would gently tell Gareth that she was terminating their contract. “Sorry for my outburst. Your parents just upset me.”
He smiled. “I could tell. You shouldn’t take them so seriously. And really, Dad shouldn’t have said to you…”
“Butyoutake them seriously, Gare! And I take you seriously. Do you?” she interrupted incredulously. She didn’t want to think about what his father had said to her because that would only make the panic burn hotter in her veins.
Blinking, he frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t say what’s on your mind around them,” she replied weakly. “As if your opinion is worth less than theirs. You didn’t even do that back when your father visited us at Harvard. And it upset me even then, and made me feel like I had to protect you, and…”
Gareth snorted and looked down at her, shaking his head. “You don’t have to protect me. It’s just pointless to contradict them anymore. I’ve tried, but it’s still the same old story and nothing will change.”
