“No. All you can do is figure out what makes you content. Maybe start by explaining to your dad that he’s putting too much pressure on you…or at least talk to your sister about how you feel and how it makes you angry that she's sharing confidential information with your dad. Because I don’t believe Penny meant any harm.”
He pressed his lips together and looked away. “It doesn’t change the fact that she shouldn’t have done it.”
“No, of course not, but maybe you should let her explain before you’re forever angry at the person who’s your biggest fan.”
He snorted. “She’s not my biggest fan.”
“Oh yes, she is. You’re her awesome big brother. The smartest, most astute person she knows. No one works harder than you and that makes her incredibly proud.”
“Bullshit.”
Hazel laughed. “That wasn’t an assumption, Gare. It was a direct quote.”
“She’s always complaining that I work too much.”
“Yeah, probably because she’s afraid you’ll burn out. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t admire your discipline. I mean, how could she not? Even I admire you for it. And I’ve tried really hard not to admire you for anything.”
Uncertain, he looked at her. He wouldn’t describe himself as admirable because…
“Gareth,” Hazel interrupted his thoughts with a sigh, as if she could read the doubts on his face. “Were you not listening to me at all? You’re impressive! Not because you’re good-looking and rich. I thought you were impressive back then because you were never above a challenge and had so much fun learning new things and pushing yourself. I respected you for giving up parties to learn and become the best. For being able to read lies and express yourself better – and still can – than any lawyer I know. And I liked you because you were still a good person who didn’t abuse your power for evil. It doesn’t matter if your dad complains or if people whisper that everything you’ve achieved has been handed to you. The people who matter know better.I, at least, know better. You deserve to lead the Hawks and you should be proud of it. And it annoys me immensely how well you’re doing because a falling-apart organization would give me a better bargaining chip.”
Gareth closed his eyes as Hazel’s words wrapped around his shoulders like her arms and eventually reached his heart. He didn’t want to admit he’d needed to hear them. He’d workedhard to show the world that he didn’t need anyone’s validation about what kind of person he was.
But he’d never convinced himself of that.
“Thanks,” he whispered.
“Gladly. And Gareth?” Hazel stroked his hair. “Shall we just turn off the alarm?”
“What?”
“Tomorrow is Saturday, the scrimmage game isn’t until four o’clock, and Devreaux’s contract is ready; we just need to sign it with Penny. Let’s sleep in. Waste a little time.”
Yeah, maybe. Just once would be okay. And it wouldn't be a waste of time as long as he had Hazel in his arms.
“Okay.”
He was tired of always being exhausted.
They slept until noon.
Okay, no. They slept until ten, and then were occupied with other things for two hours. Gareth didn’t care either because he felt better than he had in a long time. Was this what it felt like to finally beawake? Or was it the fault of the woman who literally held his hand while she escorted him to his sister’s office so he could talk things out and get things straight?
He preferred not to think too hard about it. He already felt like he was up to his chin in shit without verbalizing the gnawing feeling that had been bothering him for days.
“Don’t yell at her, okay?” Hazel mumbled, hastily taking a step away from him as a man in a suit walked toward them, someone Gareth either didn’t recognize or had forgotten. Probably the latter.
“She leaked private information to Dad!” In doing so, she practically gave him the ammunition to make his job hell and make him feel incompetent, arrogant, and generally the wrongchoice to lead the Hawks. Which, in turn, led to him having to defend and justify himself to his old man, something he’d sworn never to do again and hated more than the taste of coffee!
She squeezed his arm. “I know. But ask her why before you yell. Penny’s been listening to you for years, Gare, return the favor. You’re allowed to be angry, but don’t hurt her just because she hurt you.”
“She didn’t…”
“Of course she did,” Hazel said somberly, stopping outside Penny’s office. “She’s the only person in your family you trust and who loves you unconditionally. Of course she hurt you by betraying your trust.”
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. She was right. He was hurt and angry. He wanted to release his emotions because he found it difficult to hold on to feelings. They were too much. But…he loved Penny.
“Fine,” he whispered. “But I’m not knocking!”
