So, she knew. It wasn’t a surprise because it wasn’t that muchof a leap, and on one hand, it was good she understood what was going to happen. On the other hand, I felt bad that she had to face it. She’d worked so hard to create the life she had, and it wasn’t fair for the Department of Fertility to rip it out from under her like this.
I took a seat next to Bette, and in a gentle voice I said, “I doubt it.”
“I don’t know how to feel about that.”
“In what way?”
Bette rolled her blue eyes dramatically. “I told you how things are, why I married my husband. It’s not like I’m really going to miss him since he isn’t around that much, but I will miss the life he gave me. The comfort.” She let out a breath that sounded almost pained. “I worked so hard to get where I was, too. I mean, I know you don’t have a lot, but you have no idea what it’s like in other parts of the country. Where I came from, it was awful.”
“I’m sorry, Bette. It isn’t fair.”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “But I shouldn’t complain. I signed up for this, after all. Unlike you.”
“Everyone deserves a chance to complain,” I told her. “It’s unfair for women like me to judge other women for being thankful for the program. For you, it was great, and it would have been for Ivy, too, if she’d managed to make it to China with the money she was earning. The program gave you what you wanted. And you’re not alone. There are other women here who wouldn’t be pregnant without it. But they chose this, and that’s how it should be.”
“I know.” Bette put her hand on mine, which was resting on my leg. “And I’m sorry.”
“I know you are.” I blew out an irritated breath. “The women who really piss me off are the ones who can’t understand that we’re all different and we all want different things. Not only do they look down on me for not being thrilled to be in this situation, but they actively help the Department of Fertility spread their propaganda. That’s wrong on so many levels.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Bette said.
I gave her a rueful smile. “I know. And thanks for letting mevent. Thanks for a lot, actually.” I laughed. “When I first saw you, I never could have imagined we’d be friends.”
She grinned, flashing me her perfectly straight teeth. “I knew we would.”
“How?”
“Because I saw the way you stood up to Hilary, and it impressed me.” Bette gave a slight shrug. “I’ve always wanted to be a fighter, and, in a way, I am. I mean, I got myself out of my shitty circumstances.” She hesitated before saying, “This isn’t the first time I was in the program.”
I blinked, confused. “What?”
“Yeah.” Bette rubbed circles on her round belly. “I volunteered as soon as I turned eighteen. It seemed like the best way to get enough money to change my circumstances, and it worked.”
“Wow.”
It was all I could think to say. Bette and I had spent a lot of time together, and while I’d had a feeling I didn’t know everything about her, I never could have imagined this was what she’d been keeping from me.
“It was hard,” she went on, still rubbing her stomach, “but it was what I needed, so I did it. And it worked. I made enough money to buy a cheap car, and I packed my things and drove north.” She was smiling when she lifted her eyes to meet mine. “I’m glad I did it, and not just because it gave me the opportunity to get out but because it allowed someone else to have a child.”
She was a nicer person than me. That was for damn sure.
“I know I should look at it that way, but I’m just too angry to be able to do it.”
“And that’s understandable.” Bette’s smile was sad. “And it’s also why I admire you. I take everything people throw at me and swallow it, but not you. You never hide a thing.”
“Hilary pisses me off so much I literallycan’thide it.”
“Me, too.” She let out a bitter laugh. “I mean, she’s nice to me because I’m happy to be here, but she thinks everyone should be as thrilled as I am, and that’s just ignorant.”
“You’re preaching to the choir,” I muttered.
Bette held my gaze for a few more seconds, smiling, and itwasn’t uncomfortable, which was so strange. Other than Trevor, I’d never been this relaxed with another person, never this open, and she was such an unlikely candidate to drag me out of my shell that it still blew my mind. But she’d done it.
“Well,” she finally said, dragging herself to her feet, “I suppose we should check out dinner.”
My stomach growled at the mention of food. “I guess so.”
Another bus had arrivedby the time Bette and I reached the lobby, but the presence of the women waiting to be assigned rooms was completely overshadowed by the sight of the luggage stacked next to the front door. Especially when I spotted a pink suitcase.
