Bette took a seat on the couch, waving eagerly for me to join her. I did, looking around as I settled onto the overly soft surface. It was the only piece of furniture in the room that had enough space for two, and it didn’t escape my notice that the other women had opted for the hard folding chairs rather than risk having to share the space. And that they’d all positioned themselves as far away from Destiny as possible.
The group leader had taken her place in one of the overstuffed chairs, balancing her full plate on her knees, her smile bright as she looked around the room. The other women were all intent on their food, their postures as stiff as the folding chairs, their heads down to make it clear they didn’t want to be addressed. Everyone except Bette, that was. She smiled and shrugged as if to indicate the mood didn’t bother her, then started eating.
I did as well, cutting off a big chunk of prime rib and dipping it in mashed potatoes and gravy before shoving it in my mouth. It was cooked to perfection, tender and juicy, and was so delicious it instantly distracted me from the tense atmosphere.
For a few minutes, the clinking of flatware against plates was the only sound in the room. It was almost relaxing, but I told myself not to let my guard down. This wasn’t a social outing, and these people – Destiny, especially – weren’t my friends. This was a government mandated support group and everything I said and did was being observed. Hell, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the session was being recorded.
My plate was still half full when Destiny gave a little clap of her hands. “I know everyone is still eating, but since our time is limited, I think we should get started.” She paused like she was hoping for a response, then went on when she got none. “Since it’s Ara’s first meeting, I’m going to lead the conversation more than usual. I also want everyone to introduce themselves and give a little background about your time in the program. Okay?”
Destiny’s chipper statement was met with silence, which didn’t faze her in the least.
She gave an enthusiastic nod, then turned her attention to the pregnant woman sitting to her right. “Lilly, why don’t you get us started?”
The woman, who I would have guessed was a couple years younger than me if it wasn’t for the fact that she was here, looked up from her plate mid-chew, her large, blue eyes darting from Destiny to me. She was petite, making her round stomach seem almost clownish, and her pixie cut blonde hair made her look young while her wide eyes gave her an almost angelic appearance.
When she’d swallowed, she pressed her lips together for a beat before saying, “Yeah, so, um, I’m Lilly. Like Destiny said. I’m seven months pregnant and have been in the program for a little over a year. I got lucky and only had to do two rounds before conceiving, so that’s good. I definitely won’t be doing any more rounds when this over,” she absentmindedly ran her hand over her stomach, “and I’m looking forward to it being over.”
“Let’s keep it positive,” Destiny said in a tone that reminded me of a mother chiding a naughty child.
Lilly rolled her eyes and went back to eating.
Destiny shifted her focus to her next victim. “Malika, what can you tell Ara about yourself?”
The black woman’s head jerked up, her eyes narrowing on Destiny as she slowly chewed her food. It seemed to take forever for her to swallow, and the way she held the group leader’s gaze the whole time made it clear she was doing it on purpose. It made me instantly like her, and I had to hide my smile by shoving a big chunk of roll into my mouth.
When she decided she’d dragged it out long enough, Malika rolled her eyes, and said, “Well, you already told her my name, so that’s out of the way. The rest isn’t about me exactly, just this program, but here goes. I’m going on two years of forced service to the government, am not currently pregnant, and have had one miscarriage. And you better believe I’m counting down the days until I have my life back.”
Malika smiled and crossed her arms, her brows raised indefiance when Destiny frowned.
“Please, ladies,” the group leader said in a less cordial tone than she’d used before, “if we can remember to keep this positive, we’ll all benefit from our time together.”
“Positive?” Malika snorted. “There’s nothing positive about this situation, lady, and no matter what you or anyone else says, you’re not going to trick me into thinking there is.”
“You forget that I’ve been in your shoes,” Destiny said.
“Notmyshoes.” Malika raised her brows when she eyed Destiny. “You volunteered, which is all well and good for you, but you better fucking believe I didn’t. And I wouldn’t have. This is my body, and no one should have a right to it. You hear me?”
I wanted to applaud.
Destiny narrowed her eyes on Malika for a few seconds longer as if trying to decide how to respond, before finally blowing out a breath and shifting her attention to the next woman. When she did, Malika let out a satisfied snort and went back to her meal.
“I know Ivy can add some positivity to the discussion.” Destiny said, her expression softening as she addressed the Asian girl.
Ivy shifted uncomfortably, her hands tightening on her knife and fork until the skin on her knuckles stretched taut. “Um, I’m Ivy. I’m nineteen, and I’ve been in the program for about nine months. I’ve had two inseminations, which weren’t successful, and should have my third one soon.”
Nineteen? She was so young, which was crazy. Why was she here?
Destiny beamed at the girl before shifting her focus to me. “See? Some women are happy to be here.”
The way Ivy looked down made it clear she wasn’t one of those women, but she said nothing.
“Why don’t you tell us why you’ve decided to volunteer your time?” Destiny prompted.
Time? Didn’t she mean body?
“Oh.” Ivy lifted her head, her cheeks flushed as she looked from Malika, who was scowling, to me. “Um, see, I have family in China, and my grandma isn’t doing so well.Since I’m fertile, I can’t go see her until after my time in the program is up, so I decided to go ahead and get it out of the way.” She flushed harder. “I mean, this way, I might make it there before she dies. Plus, I need the money for travel expenses and all that. So, it just made sense.”
Destiny was beaming, and I found it really difficult not to slap the expression off her face. Ivy wasn’t here out of some misguided sense of duty or because she thought this program was important; she was here so she could hopefully see her grandmother before she died!
