“Don’t be a baby, Miss Murphy,” Hilary said. “I’ll step out while you empty your bladder in the basin. Once you’ve finished, I will dip the test in the urine, and we’ll know the results. It’s not that big a deal, really.”
I scowled, but Hilary didn’t acknowledge the dirty look before turning her back on me. “You can throw your toilet paper in the trashcan provided. Let me know when you’re done.”
I continued to glare even after she’d disappeared through the curtain.
I felt like things had been set up to ensure the situation was as humiliating as possible. But like everything else, I had no control, so after only a few seconds of trying to figure out how I was going to get out of it, I resigned myself to my fate and did what was expected of me.
Once I’d used the hand sanitizer sitting on the wheeled cart, I called out, “I’m done.”
Hilary slipped back through the curtain.
She didn’t even look at me as she put on a pair of gloves, tore into the test lying on the cart, and dipped the tip in my urine. She held it there for longer than necessary before replacing the lid and setting it on top of the wheeled cart. I cringed when she didn’t even bother putting toilet paper under it but supposed it didn’t matter. Someone would have to empty the basin when I was gone, and they would probably clean the cart as well.
“Just a couple minutes,” Hilary said as she removed her gloves and tossed them into the trash.
She didn’t look my way while we waited, which I was thankfulfor.
Seconds ticked by while Hilary stared at the test. Her mouth scrunched up before too long, and I knew the results were forthcoming.
I expected a positive test since my periods were never late, which was why I was so surprised when she picked the test up, tossed it in the trash, and declared, “Negative.”
“Negative?” I repeated, shocked and elated at the same time.
The disapproving look Hilary gave me made it seem like she held me personally responsible. “You heard me.”
“I’m just surprised,” I said, trying to hide my excitement.
I would have three months to kill before they tried again, which meant I had a temporary reprieve. It was like being pardoned by the governor moments before an execution.
“Yes, well,” my minder began as she typed a few things into the tablet she never went anywhere without, “I suppose it’s time I let you know that things have changed.”
“Changed?” I repeated, wondering what bomb she was going to drop on me next.
When Hilary looked up, I swore there was a gleam of satisfaction in her brown eyes. “You will resume temperature checks immediately and as soon as your body is once again fertile, we’ll try again.Next month.”
She over pronounced the last two words like she wanted to make sure I got what she was saying but there was no need. I understood completely and I also knew it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t what I’d been told and despite my determination to follow orders, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. Not about this.
“But I have three months. It’s in the contract.”
Hilary rolled her eyes like I was a troublesome child and not a woman whose rights were being ripped away. “Yes, well, given the state of the world and increased risk to the human race, the three-month break between inseminations has been suspended. You know as well as I do that the Department of Fertility has the right to make changes to the program at any time if they feel it’s in the best interest of the human race. And you have tounderstand how dire the circumstances are.”
I didn’t since I was cut off from the world, but even if I had, it wouldn’t have justified this. Even worse was that this most recent change brought back all my worries about how far the Department of Fertility would go. They could keep me here as long as they liked, could decide I needed to have another baby, could extend my time in the program, could even decide I was property of the government for as long as I was fertile. The future suddenly looked even more bleak than ever, which made it impossible to hold in my anger.
“This is wrong. You have to know this is wrong,” I said, blinking back the tears that had sprung to my eyes. “This is my body.Mine.”
“Miss Murphy, I’m really getting tired of your ridiculous outbursts. You have a duty to the human race, and you will fulfill it one way or another. What you need to do is decide what your time in the program is going to look like. Either you can stay here and be pampered” – She paused when I snorted – “or you can go to one of the government hospitals to serve out your time. I know what I would do if I were in your shoes, but only you can make that decision.”
I wanted to hit her, wanted to scream, wanted to grab a gun from one of the soldiers and shoot my way out of this hellhole. But I knew where all those things would get me, which was why I chose to swallow my anger, wipe the tears from my cheeks, and straighten my shoulders. I would get through this. Even if I wasn’t free from the program until I was in my forties, I would not let these people win.
Seeing the resolve on my face, Hilary gave a satisfied nod. “Good. Now that we’ve decided you’re going to be a team player, you can return to your normal schedule. I’ll keep an eye on things via your wristband. That is all.”
She resumed typing on her tablet, which I took as my cue to leave.
I was practically running as I hurried out, both because I wanted to get away from her and because, despite my resolve, Iwas still on the verge of tears. I would put on the bravest face I could in front of Hilary, but in private, I would be myself.
The appointment had distracted me so much that I’d totally forgotten about Marc until I reached the front desk and he turned to face me. His eyes were full of questions, and seeing him now was too much for me, and my tears began to spill over. Marc half stood, reaching out, but I shook my head and violently swiped my hand across my cheek.
Not wanting to deal with him on top of everything else, I hurried from the clinic and headed for my room. Breakfast was on, and I had my work shift after that, but I didn’t care. I needed to be alone. I’d deal with the consequences later.
