“Please don’t leave me in here,” I told him, my voice high and terrified. I had the mental image of there being a fire or something, of being caught in the kennel to die. Unlikely as it was, it was a very real fear.
He softened, ever so slightly, his scarred face somehow seeming gentle. “I won’t be far,” he promised.
It shouldn’t have been a relief, but it was. If he wasn’t far, then I was safe.
Except I was in a dog kennel in a psycho’s bedroom, with dog bowls for food and water and a bottle to piss in.
I was so far from safe that it might as well have been in another zip code.
Yet…
He reached through the bars of the kennel, and I had to fight not to flinch as he touched my cheek. He smiled. “Such a good boy, to not want to be separated from your master.”
As though that was anywhere close to the truth. But if it made him happy, I’d take it. I’d rather him be pleased with me — with a lie — than know what was really going on in my mind. It was just… easier to shove those thoughts aside and let him believe I really was turning into what he wanted me to be.
Then again… wasn’t I?
It was an unsettling thought.
I closed my eyes, unwilling to look at him and see that soft expression. It was so at odds with everything else I knew that I couldn’t reconcile it with the man I’d started to learn about.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said, withdrawing his hand. “Just relax. I’ll put on the TV.”
Hopefully not on ghost stories.
He put it on Animal Planet, which was on par with his particular sense of humor. I glared at him, but he only smiled back at me. His scarred face seemed softer with his amusement somehow, and even though I was the butt of the joke, I could deal with it.
“Behave,” he told me, as though I could possibly do anything else when I was trapped in the kennel.
I sighed, shaking my head as he left the room and closed the door, enveloping me in darkness but for the light of the TV. It was surreal to sit back and watch TV, knees against mychest, as I tried to get comfortable. He’d woken me up earlier because he hadn’t wanted me to sleep too much, but I would end up drowsing soon enough.
There was some show about cats on, and I couldn’t help but think of my mom’s old cat. She’d been spoiled rotten, given everything a cat could ever want and then some. If I was going to die and come back as an animal, I’d want to be a cat.
The thought jolted me, and I sat up a little more. If I had to be an animal…
Oh, fuck no. No, no, no. I was not even considering playing more into his games. There was no way I could do it.
Yet… it seemed so much less humiliating somehow.
I groaned, burying my face in my hands. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know much about puppy play in the real world, but I knew it existed — along with kitty play and pony play. I had about zero desire to end up as a pony, but a cat…
A cat could have claws, in more ways than one. Cats had attitude.
Cattitude.
I stifled a hysterical laugh.
If I was going to be here, if I was going to be fucking stuck here, shouldn’t I get some say in the terms?
The idea invigorated me, shaking me from the depressing haze I’d started to slip into. My personality was all but being quashed as a pup, but as a cat, it could be so different. It had to be different before I lost myself completely.
I didn’t know if he’d go along with it. He seemed to have some very specific ideas of what he wanted from me. But if I was going to have to do this…
I found a core of strength in me I hadn’t known wasthere until that moment, taking a deep breath and devoting myself to the plan. Not that I really had much of a plan yet…
Before I could come up with one, the door opened and Griffin returned.
He was smiling, and I thought…Well, here goes nothing.
