I didn’t know when it had gotten to be so appealing — the idea of someone on all fours in front of me, harnessed and leashed, collared and submissive, but it wouldn’t leave my head. As much as I wanted Toby to like me — and I did — I couldn’t give up on my own needs.
There was always the dark voice whispering in the back of my mind that I’d bought him as surely as I’d bought that cereal, and he belonged to me.
And he’d accepted that. The knock at the door had scared me senseless, but he’d given in to me. He’d told mehe’d give in to more, too, though I hadn’t wanted him to give up so much without wanting it. He had to want it soon.
He had to want me.
Even though he said he was straight, I’d always believed that if you found the right person, gender wouldn’t matter. I had to believe that now more than ever, now that I’d found this supposedly straight boy who was mine and mine alone.
I couldn’t let him go. He was mine as long as I wanted him, and the power of that was heady.
He glanced up at me, his eyes going to my hand. I didn’t move it. I kept it right where it was, an acknowledgment of the fact that his submission aroused me. He didn’t look long. He never did, not when things turned remotely sexual. But he’d have to learn.
He had to.
There was a part of me that worried he’d never accept it, and there was a larger part of me that worried I wouldn’t care. I didn’t know how long I could go without stroking his smooth skin, without taking the ass bared so invitingly to me. I wanted to taste his cock and see his mouth and throat working around mine. I needed it with a blinding desperation that defied reason.
I needed him.
A lump formed in my throat at the idea that he might never come around. I didn’t want to be the beast to his beauty for all of our days. I wanted so much more…
It wasn’t right of me. I knew that, but I couldn’t bring myself to accept it.
I wasn’t going to cry, but I had to see his tears.
“Finish up,” I told him hoarsely.
He looked at me again, his expression guarded, but he nodded. He half-heartedly finished the cereal, going back to the bowl of milk and leaving it partially full.
I frowned. “I said finish.”
“I can’t get to all of it without drowning,” he retorted.
Was it bad to say that I was glad to see some of his spirit returning to him? I didn’t want to break him. I just wanted him to bend a little — or a lot, but he could do it. He had more to him than it had seemed at first. If he could snark off to me now, it meant there was more gristle there than I’d feared.
“Try it anyway,” I told him, just to see what he would do.
He gave me a look, but he went back to the milk without much gusto.
“Stop,” I said.
He stopped.
There was something heartbreaking in the way he followed my orders and commands. I didn’t want that. Well… I did. I wanted his obedience, but I didn’t want it this way.
I wanted him to want to give it to me. A 24/7 submissive, someone to tend to my needs, someone to adore me.
I wanted him to be something he’d never thought he’d be, but I wanted him to do it for me.
I reached down, picking up the bowls and setting them in the sink to clean up later. “Now, let’s go take care of your ass,” I said, unable to stop myself from reveling in the fear in his expression.
He was still there. He wasn’t broken.
“We’re gonna do it differently today though, okay, pup?”
Another flash of wariness.
I reached down, smoothing a hand along his shoulder blade. He didn’t flinch away from me like I would’ve expected, instead staying there and… enduring it.
