But what about me? What had happened to me, towhere I was so damn willing to give up myself to make someone else happy? It wasn’t fair that I had to always do what he said for fear of punishment.
Then again, this had never been about what was fair. If it was fair, I’d still be on campus, living my life oblivious to the sort of beasts lurking just out of my sight. I mean, I’d known there were psychos in the world, but it had never seemed real to me — not until I’d been stolen away from everything I’d known.
“Toby!”
I jerked, the fear becoming overwhelming. I wanted so badly to give in, so badly I started to move in his direction without even realizing it. Once I did, I settled back down on the floor, refusing to move. I considered going to the kennel and shutting myself inside before he could respond, but he was already moving, already grabbing the collar around my throat and yanking me up.
I scrambled onto my knees, up off the ground, lifting my head as I sought to relieve the pressure.
“I told you to come,” he said, familiar darkness swirling in his eyes, tainting his gaze and making him seem monstrous as his scars twisted into an ugly expression. “Why are you disobeying me? You were doing so well.”
I shook my head as much as I could. That was the problem. I wasn’t going to tell him that, but that was the fucking problem. I was doing so well. I was doing too well.
I was lost.
“No,” I whimpered, trying to shy away from him and failing miserably.
“Excuse me?” he demanded.
I could take his out. I could surrender. I could do what he’d asked and plead for his forgiveness.
Instead, I said nothing, did nothing, as my fear started to escalate.
He snarled then grabbed me by the back of my neck. “I’m giving you one last chance to obey me, Toby. You do not want to piss me off.”
One last chance. I could give in. I’d still be punished, I was sure, but it wouldn’t be as bad as it would be if he had to… do whatever it was he was thinking about doing.
I almost spoke, almost croaked out an apology and cowered like a fucking dog. I stopped myself, only barely, whimpering and closing my eyes as I braced myself for what was coming.
He dropped me then attached a lead to the cat collar around my throat, the thin band digging into my skin as he started to pull me toward the door. I resisted as much as I could, but it hurt, and he didn’t relent. I had to scramble after him before the pressure got to be too much.
He got what he wanted, but I fought him like a fish on a hook, making him work for every step.
Finally, he growled and snatched me up, tossing me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. My heart raced faster and faster as he started in the direction of…
The basement.
I’d half-hoped he’d just take me into the kitchen by force, but no. He was going further than that. He was going to punish me for disobeying, and it was all I could do not to beg him to forgive me. I didn’t want to ask him, didn’t want to give in so very much, but I was terrified about being returned to the cage.
To being a pup.
To beinghispup.
He wasn’t going to let me continue being a kitten when I’d pushed him so hard.
I choked back a sob, knowing I’d given up all the ground I’d gained. Everything I’d worked for vanished in that instant, and I was returned to being his captive once more. That was all I was, and he was so pissed off at me that I couldn’t be sure it wouldn’t be worse this time around.
And I did not want it to be worse.
I bit my lip so hard I could taste blood as he hauled me over to the cage. He set me down on the dog bed more gently than I’d expected considering his fury, but he left me there. He slammed the door behind him, the sound of the lock clicking into place more frightening than it had ever been. I scrambled up, and I spoke before I could stop myself as I realized I was going to be alone in that hellhole again. “Please?—”
“Too late, Toby,” he snapped. “You should’ve listened before. You knew better.”
I had known better. But there had been a part of me that had thought… had thought that maybe…
Maybe he wouldn’t react so strongly. Maybe he’d be closer to the man he’d become than the beast I knew he could be.
I’d been wrong — or right, really, because I’d dreaded this as a real possibility. I’d known he was going to react like this or worse, but I’d done it anyway. I’d done it, and now I was paying for it.
