Which only reminded me of how far I’d come along the way. Once, I absolutely would have. Now, here we were, only days —weeks?— into my captivity, and I was already surrendering just like he wanted me to.
“I’ll be back soon,” he promised me. He tenderly brushed a few locks of damp hair from my forehead, brushing them back, then kissed the skin before straightening up back into the mountain of a man he was.
It had been a brief moment of vulnerability, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it. All I could do was just stay curled up there, shivering a little for reasons that had nothing to do with warmth and everything to do with my own submission.
I’d fallen asleep before he came back, and I woke to him gently touching my shoulder. My eyes flew open, and Iscrambled back a little before I could even process what was going on.
His lips pressed into a line, but he didn’t say anything about my automatic reaction. He wasn’t happy about it, that was for sure, but what could he really say? It wasn’t like this was my dream vacation!
“Dinner,” he said a little gruffly.
Which meant it was nighttime… probably. Unless he was still throwing me off, and he probably was. His habit of keeping me unable to tell what time of day it was and how much was passing was getting to me, and he had to know it. It had to be why he was doing it.
“Do you still want me to feed you?” he asked, crouching down next to me.
I hesitated, then nodded.
Surprisingly, he didn’t make me bark for it. Instead, he fished out a perfectly cut cube of steak and pressed it to my lips.
I took it, relaxing instantly despite myself. This was the firstreal, non-bland food I’d had in a while, and it was so tender and substantial and… I moaned.
He shifted a little at that, though he said nothing of it, and he waited for me to chew and swallow before offering me a piece of herbed and buttered carrot. I wanted to tell him to shove it where the sun didn’t shine and give me the meat, but mealtime would probably be the worst time to piss him off.
I ate the carrot, which was surprisingly good, followed by a piece of potato then — finally — another piece of the steak. It didn’t take me long to realize he’d taken his time in cutting it, ensuring there was no gristle or fat. The latter made sense, considering I spent a whole lot of time lyingthere and not any time exercising, but the former was just a courtesy.
He hand-fed me one bite after another, relaxing more until he was finally seated next to me on the floor. I was up a little higher than he was, leaning down to take each bite from his hand like a willing subject, and I didn’t care. How could I, when flavor burst from every single bite I took?
This was what the canned crap pretended it could imitate, but it couldn’t come close to the real thing.
Finally, the bowl was empty, and even though my stomach ached a little from eating too much, I wouldn’t have turned down more in case this was a once-in-a-lifetime sort of thing.
Just as I thought the words, he told me, “You’ll get to eat like that more when you behave more. That’s part of your reward. Just think about it, Toby.”
My name is not Toby.
“No responsibilities. No classes, no bills, no relationships, no worrying about what to put on the table, no family nonsense. Just pleasing someone and being pleased, just being taken care of.” It almost sounded like he was pleading with me, like he expected me to understand his point of view in all of this.
“I like my family and relationships,” I said, and for the most part, that was true… even though they felt like they’d been in another era of my life altogether now.
He sighed. “Well, think about it. It can be this way all the time, or it can be worse. You know that.”
“Made it pretty clear,” I agreed, and a part of me felt guilt at the disappointment that flickered across his expression. He’d really thought this would convince me in some way, and it hurt him that it hadn’t.
Why I cared, I wasn’t really sure.
I scowled. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to give a fuck what this man felt or thought, yet there I was… caring and even worrying.
“I’ll replace the dildo with your regular water bowl,” he said, resignation heavy in his voice. He pulled out a few baby wipes and cleaned my face, then he rose and went to the waterer.
There was a part of me that was a little apprehensive. I’d gotten used to the thing. It was like a water bottle. The water bowl was a lot harder to drink out of. But I couldn’t tell him I wanted to suck cock to sate my thirst. I said nothing, watching as he cut through the cable ties and efficiently pulled it down. He gathered all the trash, shoving it into his pockets like he thought I’d try to figure out a way out with it.
Or kill myself.
He got the water bowl and refilled it, and I was thirsty enough to go over to it and drink. The first few sips were easy, but then I wanted more and more, and I ended up sputtering all over the place.
“Hold, Toby,” he told me, urging my head up. “Take your time. It’s not going anywhere.”
Yeah.
