I’d get my puppy, and he’d get to pretend he still had dignity. It was a sad, fucked-up game, but it was the only one we could play… for now.
“You have an even better one in your kennel upstairs,” I finally offered.
His head jerked up at that, and he stared at me in what I wasn’t sure was disbelief or just outright confusion.
“It’s big enough for you,” I went on even though he hadn’t asked and probably didn’t care about the size of the cage he’d be held in. “Once I can trust you, I’ll bring you upstairs and you can keep me company while I work.”
Creating song lyrics for other singers was one thing, but it wasn’t everything. It was something I did more out of routine than actual pleasure. I’d lost my desire to create music when I’d realized how easily the world would throw me away… and all because of how I looked.
They’d claimed they hadn’t, but when the invitations had dwindled and the terms of my contract had beenadjusted, I’d known. I hadn’t fought it. I didn’t want everyone staring at me every time I walked into a room anyway.
“I don’t want your goddamn kennel,” he snapped back at me.
“There’s sunlight upstairs,” I replied, remembering the way it had felt upon my face when I’d first ventured outside after months of crippling depression.
He tensed. “You wouldn’t risk it.”
“I live in the middle of nowhere,” I told him. “Do you think I’d really do something like this if I lived in the heart of Hollywood?” I quirked a brow.
He sighed heavily. “Yeah, sure, whatever.”
“You really can have things better,” I told him, shoving my hands into my pockets. “I know you don’t think so, but it can get better.” I exhaled slowly, pausing as I watched him try to pretend to ignore me. I’d have reminded him to keep the plug in, but it would’ve seemed cruel since he wouldn’t be able to get it out with the mitts on his hands either…
Then again, he might try to be creative.
“Just make sure that ass is still full when I get back,” I said crudely. “Or we’ll have problems.”
He replied, “We already do.”
I ignored him.
15
Ryder
It was like the tail broke everything we’d established before.
If he hadn’t violated me directly before, he touched me now, running his hands along my body and leaving my skin crawling. At the same time…
At the same time, there was a part of me that was hungry for the touch. The days were long in the basement, and he was my only company. Was it any wonder that I would start craving it as something to break the monotony?
At least, that was what I tried to tell myself. I didn’t want to admit that I wanted this scarred man anywhere near me, even if he was the only one around. There was no way in hell I’d ever be so desperate that I’d want my captor to touch me, let alone unasked.
Yet, there we were.
I was frozen in the grooming tub as his hand brushed my cock, as it stirred with interest — not for the first time since getting there, but for the first time when he was there too.
He didn’t move either, even as I twitched and tried todecide between jerking back and rubbing a little against his hand. I wasn’t gay, but it had been a while since I’d even gotten myself off. It felt better than I would’ve expected, especially in the wake of one of the gentlest enemas he’d allowed me to give myself and with the warm water still cascading over me.
“No,” I whispered.
For a moment, it didn’t seem like he’d heard me, but then he drew his hand back and went back to washing me. We both pretended that moment had never happened, but his hand with the cloth lingered along my spine.
I shivered, ashamed of the semi I was sporting, and I squirmed when he got back down to my cock and balls. He bathed me without commenting, the only difference that he took his time instead of his usual precursory grooming.
I didn’t understand why a “no” now would make a difference. It wasn’t like arguing had made a difference before.
But this went further, deeper,more.
