Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach up and slice a thumb against one of his fangs. He freezes when I press it against his lips.
“Take it,” I whisper.
Our eyes meet as he draws it in, gently sucking. It doesn’t last long, only a couple of seconds, and when he lets go, I replace my finger with my lips, kissing him soundly. The bitter tang of blood doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I pull away, grinning.
“I really hope you liked this, because Idefinitelywant to do it again. Like, a lot.”
Jericho bursts out laughing, gently rolling me to my side until we’re facing each other. He’s still laughing as he aligns our bodies, one arm around my waist. I can’t be sure, but I think that’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him.
Then his expression hardens and he looks away, his fangs sliding back into their hiding places. And I know why. He’s thinking about earlier. When he’d craved me.
We definitely need to talk.
“Jer,” I say. He doesn’t respond. “Will you help me understand?”
He closes his eyes, but to my relief, he doesn’t shut me out. If anything, he pulls me closer. He knows what I’m talking about.
“Do you remember when we went hiking in the Rocky Mountains a couple years ago? We slipped down that ravine and broke our hydro packs.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you remember how thirsty we were when we got back to the car?”
“Yeah. We downed the bottles of water in the trunk, even though they were too hot. You ended up with a blister on your gums, but at least we didn’t get sick.”
Jericho nods slowly. “It’s like that, only… worse. Much worse. When I crave blood, it burns a hole inside of me. It feels like a demon is taking over or something. If I let it go on too long, I lose myself. And if that happens, there’s nothing I can do until it’s quenched.”
I consider that. “Is that what you felt today?”
“No, but it was close. I wanted you so bad today, Evan. It scared me. The only other time…” He draws in a breath, turning to lie on his back. “The only other time I’ve felt it that strongly is when I’ve killed someone.”
My heart skips a beat.Holy shit.No wonder he asked me to leave.
He rubs at his sternum. “I can’t hurt you. I’ll never forgive myself if I do.”
“Then what can I do? Because this is obviously going to be a thing between us if we want to be together. And I want to be with you, Jericho. I do. But I want all of you. I’m not afraid of—”
“You should be.”
“But I’m not. I trust you. Today was hard, but you did it.”
“Only because Grant was there,” he says, pushing himself up on his elbow.
My heart skips a beat as what he’s saying sinks in. It really wasn’t Jericho holding back then. It was because of Grant.
“And if he wasn’t? Fuck, Ev. I don’t know what would have happened.”
“Okay, but now you know you can resist. And when you tasted me just now, it wasn’t too much for you.”
He drops his gaze, jaw ticking. “It wasn’t enough,” he murmurs. “I stillwantyou, Evan. I think I’ll always want you.”
I hold his face. “Then you need to learn to trust yourself. We’ll keep doing what we just did until you find a balance. It has to be give or take here, so letme give it.”
He studies me carefully before closing a hand around my wrist. I expect him to push me away, but instead he gently kisses the inside of it, right above the vein, before letting go to kiss my mouth. “I don’t deserve you.”
I lie down again, holding him. “Well, too fucking bad. Because for the rest of my miserable life, you’re stuck with me.”
He laughs, though it sounds hollow. Maybe I shouldn’t remind him of my mortality, but it’s just the truth. We can dream of forever, but really, we only have this life. My life.
