Fuck. I always feared Foxx might use Evan to get to me, but now that weknow?Now that we’ve heard it for ourselves? It’s making me lose my damn mind. I want to rip the guy’s throat out and turn him to ash.
I want—need—to protect Evan, yet I don’t know how. We don’t know the full force of what we are up against, and I still don’t even know what my vampire gift is. How can I fight someone who knows more about me than I do?
Guilt gnaws at me. If only I hadn’t left Comstead…
If I hadn’t run away from my feelings, then none of this would’ve happened. Evan wouldn’t be in danger.
I’m so damn stupid.
Evan stirs next to me on the tiny bed, stretching out on his stomach and drawing in a long breath. There isn’t enough room for both of us to lay flat, so our legs and sides touch as he tries to get comfortable, but to mysurprise, he doesn’t pull away. He never has. Not like I always feared, anyway, after hearing I’m gay.
I stay as still as I can, pretending to be asleep in hopes that Evan might drift off again. We both desperately need rest. But after a while, he yawns and asks in a sleepy whisper, “You okay?”
I don’t know how he figured out that I’m awake, but I still don’t answer. I don’t even know where to begin.
Evan rolls to his side, and a second later a warm hand lands on my bare shoulder. The touch startles me so much that I let out a trembling breath.
“Talk to me,” he pleads.
The warmth of his skin ignites a fire in my belly I can’t control. I roar as I slam a fist into the side of the van. “I never should’ve left Comstead! I fucked everything up when I did!”
“Hey. No. If I don’t get to blame myself for this, neither do you.”
“But itismy fault, Evan! If I hadn’t—”
He claps a hand over my mouth to silence me. It’s so unexpected that my fangs descend on instinct. If he feels them, he doesn’t pull away.
“Stop,” he says in a firm tone. “Dwelling over the past isn’t going to change a damn thing, so let that shit go before it eats you. We’re together now. That’s what matters. We’ll figure the rest out tomorrow.” He lets go and lowers his voice. “I told you. I’m not going anywhere, man.”
I want to believe him. I want to trust that everything will work out. But nothing is like it used to be. We are not two college guys wasting time around pool tables at the rec center or hiking in the mountains anymore. Not by a long shot. Instead, we’re in over our heads in a supernatural battle that might just get us both killed.
And on top of that, Evan has seen my drawings. He knows the real reason behindwhyI left in the first place.
There simply is no going back from that.
Without warning, Evan scoots closer, draping an arm across my chest and settling his head on my pillow.
“What are you—”
“Just shut up and let me do this. You need it.”
I tense under his weight, but as he settles in, I realize he’s right. With my best friend next to me, I suddenly feel like I can breathe.
His warm breath ghosts across my skin, his delicious scent enveloping me. But to my relief, it doesn’t make me thirst. If anything, it grounds me. Reminds me that he’s here and he’s safe. At least for now.
“We’re both safe right now, Jer,” Evan says, “so try to get some sleep, okay? I know you need it just as much as me.” He yawns again, and within seconds, he’s asleep.
I turn into him, inhaling softly so he doesn’t notice. That sweet lemongrass scent is heaven.
For the first time all evening, a smile touches the edges of my mouth and a strange calm settles in my chest. I never expected this. I thought Evan would walk away from me if he knew that I was attracted to him—that I’dfantasizedabout him—but he’s still here, and he’s holding me. Almost like he’s leaning in.
But that can’t be right, can it? Evan is straight.He’s never shown any interest in guys. I would have noticed. Ilookedfor those signs for a long time and never found any, which is why I kept my secret so hidden. There’s no way he’ll ever want me.
But clearly he still cares, because he’s here.Will it be enough?
Can I find a way for this to be enough? Because I need Evan in my life more than I need my next breath.
Eventually I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep, and when I wake several hours later, Evan is on his back, looking at something on his phone.
