Evan sighs and looks from my blood-stained shirt to the carpet, then to his hands. Without saying anything, he pushes off the floor and walks down the hall toward the bathroom. I take a moment to pull myself together, then go after him. He’s leaning over the sink by the time I get there, washing his face of the blood. When he sees me in the mirror, he reaches for the rag on the counter and offers it to me. I hesitate. His kindness is almost too much, ripping open a wound in my chest yet somehow healing it too.
“Why aren't you angry with me?” I ask, leaning over the sink to splash some cold water on my face. My mind is spinning. Evan has been far too forgiving and far too understanding about this, and it’s making me nervous. “Or scared of what I am?”
Evan stands a few feet away from me, wiping his hands. “I was angry at first,” he admits. “I was pissed that you'd just left without giving me a reason. I thought I did something to push you away, especially when you didn't come back.” Tears fill his eyes, but he blinks them away, straightening his shoulders. “That's why I went to Prodigy. I wanted to find you and bring you back, but then like I said, I saw you, and knew something had happened.”
I’m still not sure what to say, so I turn and lean against the bathroom counter. There is only a few feet between us, but it might as well be a mile. So much has changed in such a short amount of time.
At his full height, Evan is only a couple inches shorter than me. His hair is longer now, and he’s lost some weight, but so much about him is familiar to me. Too familiar. It fills me with that deep longing again.
I’ve missed him.
“I wish you would've seen me,” he says, shaking his head at a memory. “But I guess it doesn't matter. I was over being angry at that point. I’ve missed you, man, and I’ve been worried sick about you.”
His honesty is sweeter than any blood I’ve ever tasted, even if it’s entangled with my guilt.
I force myself to hold his gaze. He has to know how much I hate myself for what I did. “I’m sorry.”
It did little to lighten the heavy weight on my chest. And selfishly, there’s one thing I still need to know.
“You're… okay with this? With what I am now?”
It takes him a moment to answer, but he never looks away. “You won't hurt me.”
“I might.”
“You won’t.”
I scoff. “I’m still not in control of the thirst, Evan. That's why I've stayed away. I was trying to keep you safe.”
It’s part of the truth, anyway. He doesn’t need to know the whole story.
He straightens again, looking determined. “I was covered in blood just now and you didn’t flinch.”
Because I drank more than my fill of your uninvited guest.I grind my teeth together. “You don’t understand.”
“You’re right. I don’t. I don’t understand how you can just leave me like you did. Or how you’re already acting like you regret coming here. Why bother at all if you’re just going to bolt without ever talking to me?”
I don’t say anything, which only seems to anger him.
“It’s not fair, Jer. Not after everything you put me through. After all I’ve done to find you!”
“What other choice do I have? I cankillyou.” Does he really not see that? Or care?
“No.” His voice rises as he takes a step closer. “You don't get to just decide this, not without at least talking to me. You've been my bestfriend for four years, Jericho. Four years! That means something to me. I know you've changed, but that doesn't mean you need to disappear. Vampires can coexist with humans. We've seen it.”
I shake my head. “It's not that easy.”
“Then we'll find a way,” he says, more gently this time. “Just please… don't leave again. Okay?”
His desperation knots my insides. He and I have been through so much together, and we’ve always had each other’s backs. And the sad truth is, if I hadn’t started to care for Evan more than I should’ve back then, everything would still be the same. I left because I had to, not because I wanted to. I never wanted this. To walk away from the only real friend I’ve ever had.
Even now, I want to hold him and tell him everything will be okay, but Ican't. Especially not now. His sweet lemongrass scent is already pushing me to my limits, filling me with a whole different desire than before—one I have far less control of.
“I need to go for now,” I lie, not sure when or even if I’ll be able to see him again. Because it’s not only my bloodlust that’s endangering him—it’s those who hunt me.If Foxx knew about Evan, he would no doubt use him as a pawn just to get to me.
Evan ticks his jaw. “For fuck’s sake. Can’t you at least give me fifteen minutes? I’m your best friend, Jer. Or I was. I deserve to know what happened to you!”
I pause, wanting to give him that much despite knowing I shouldn’t. Fifteen minutes might be too long, but it’s still fifteen minutes I can cherish forever after today.
