Of course that’s what he’s thinking about. Fearing the nightmares are evidence he’s turning into his mother. But sometimes, nightmares are just nightmares. He’s been through so much; I would be shocked if he didn’t experience any.
Still, it’s the question that’s on all of our minds. What if he loses himself to the half-blood?
I close my eyes and rub slow circles over his back. “Being a half-blood isn’t a death sentence. It just means you might need medication.”
“Suppressants, you mean,” he almost spits the word, like he’d rather drink poison than take medication like his mother.
“It’s not a bad thing,” I try, but he cuts me off with a groan.
“It is when I can’t afford them. My mother barely could, and she worked two jobs half the time.”
I weigh my words carefully. “There are different kinds. From what Red has told me, shifters can react differently to them, just like how humans can react differently to mental health meds or something. There are options. Do you know what she was? What her animal was?”
Tobias shakes his head against my shoulder. “How can I when she never shifted? I didn’t even know she was a shifter.”
I sigh. “Maybe she did. Maybe you didn’t see it, or know it was her.”
He shakes his head harder. “No, I really don’t think she did. I don’t think she even knew.”
I frown. This could get tricky then. Not only do shifters react differently, but each shifter type has its own chemistry too.
“Well, you could always shift to figure it out, right?”
He tenses. “Please don’t, Rowen,” he whispers. “I can’t afford to think like that. Half-bloods are dangerous.”
His hands shake. I pull him closer, our legs tangling together on instinct. Without thinking, I press my lips to his forehead. The second I realize what I’ve done, my breath stutters.
“Sorry,” I murmur.
But he just curls in tighter, head resting against mine, his hand on my chest, like my touch is calming him.
Someone walks down the hall past my room, and we both tense, listening. But the sound fades as they disappear down the stairs. It’s probably Grant or Sage. Both men are up at all hours these days.
I keep my voice low and say, “Try not to worry about it, okay? Knowing Red, he’s already digging through every book trying to find something to help you. He’ll figure it out.”
“What if he doesn’t, though? What if—”
I kiss his forehead again, silencing him. “Trust us to take care of you, Toby. We’re going to keep you safe.” I barely catch myself from saying,trust me.
That tug at my heart strengthens. Iwillkeep him safe if it’s the last thing I do.
For a long moment, he doesn’t move. I almost think he’s asleep until he whispers, “I like when you call me that. Toby.”
“Yeah? I don’t mean to. It just slips out.”
“My friends used to before—nevermind.”
I rub his arm. “Will you tell me about them?”
He pulls away a little. “Logan, Mav, and Kennedy. They were my friends before I got sick.”
“You said one of them died?”
His fingers curl against my chest. “Mav died. Kennedy ran when they attacked. I don’t know what happened to her.”
“And Logan?”
He’s quiet for so long I think he won’t answer. “I don’t know. He wasn’t with us that night, and I haven’t seen him since.”
