It’s ten minutes before he replies, and I’m halfway to the hotel before my phone buzzes.
Jordan: And that, my dear boyfriend, feels like making love to me too. Thank you. XO
I grin.
Me: Let me think on it, but you’ll have it tonight, I promise.
As soon as I’m in the door, I set the books on my nightstand and get to work scribbling a list of questions for Jordan. They come easily thanks to my experience in the medical field, but I’m able to personalize them based on what I know about Jordan’s struggle. When I have a decent selection, I send them to him, then jump in the shower.
Lily is curled up on my pillow when I get out, one leg outstretched. I scratch her ear before sitting down.
Jordan hasn’t replied, which probably means he’s spiraling into the “what ifs.”
I call him, and he answers right away, yawning on the other end of the screen. “Hey.”
Yup, definitely spiraling.I can hear it in his voice.
“Hey. All right, you have your questions, so you know what to ask. Let’s box that up for tonight and talk about something else, okay?”
Jordan drapes one arm over his head on the bed. “Did you have something in mind?”
“I don’t know. Let’s make another list or something. Could be fun.”
“List of what?”
I think about it. “Let’s think of all the places we’ll visit someday.”
Jordan doesn’t reply right away, but I push on.
“If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?”
He looks away.
“Come on, babe. Humor me.”
He fiddles with the leather cord he sometimes wears. “I don’t know.”
“It can be anywhere. No limits,” I say encouragingly. “Where were you planning to go before Graham died?”
He clenches his teeth, averting his eyes.
Fuck. I said the wrong thing.
“Sorry.”
He props the camera against the pillow, but turns back to the ceiling, without replying. Grabbing something from the bed, he tosses it between his hands.
“I’d go to Toronto,” I say. “Or Nashville. Or maybe Portugal. Oh! I know. Bangkok.” I start listing random places just to get a reaction. Honestly, I’m down for going anywhere. I love the experience.
“I’d love to go to Nashville,” he finally says. “All the music and museums. Maybe Minneapolis too, since it’s supposed to be a writer’s haven or something.”
“Nashville has all the yummy food and hot musicians.”
Jordan laughs. “Oh, now I see! You want to travel for the men, huh?”
“Don’t you?”
“No. I have my guy. I don’t need another one.”
