Holden seems truly disappointed. “Got it. Well, if that ever changes, Declan can tell you where to find me.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“I’ll take that date,” Oliver says.
Holden darts his attention over to Oliver, eyes widening. “Oh?”
Oliver shrugs, gaze darting up and down Holden’s lean frame. Holden returns his stare without shame.
“All right. Sure.” He quickly snags a napkin from the counter to write his phone number on. “Call me?”
Oliver pockets it. “Will do, boo.”
I finish the drinks and place them on a tray before swiping Holden’s debit card.
“Piper, can you follow Holden with these?”
She takes it. “You bet.”
About an hour later, the crowd finally slows, so I disappear into the storage room to grab a few more liquor bottles. With the door closed, I take a second to check my phone. There are two new messages from Miles, and I quickly swipe to read them.
Miles:Fuck, today was the worst! Sometimes I regret becoming a nurse. I care too much.
Forty minutes later, another message.
Miles:I really need a hug, Jord. Sorry to complain so much, but today was just really, really hard. We lost a patient a little bit ago, and Ruth is back too. She had surgery. It went okay, and she’s okay. But I just hate seeing her like that. It was hard. I’m super sad tonight. IDK. Maybe I’m just tired.
My heart sinks. Oh, Miles.
Me:I’m so sorry, babe. That’s rough. Really rough. Believe me, I wish I could give you that hug.
I send it, then type out another.
Me:It’s busy tonight, but I’m here. I’ll try to check my phone more often. I’ll message you when I’m off. XO.
I shove my phone away, then grip the shelves as unexpected sadness fills me. Is this what Miles and my relationship is going to be like for the next three months? Sneaking messages and clinging to spare moments?
I’m not going to lie. I hate it.
I had a hard time sleeping last night after not being able to talk to Miles again. His voice calms me like nothing else can. But he’d fallen asleep so fast after I’d hung up, and I can’t even blame him. The new shift is hard on him. But now to hear Miles talk like that and not be able to be there for him? It’s ripping me apart.
He’s the sunshine between us, and his light is dimming. I’ve seen the signs. What’s worse is I don’t think Miles has. Or if he has, he hasn’t acknowledged it.
He’s slipping into depression.
Every time he’s been depressed has been because someone left him. First when his grandpa died, then after his breakup with his ex. Miles told me he was depressed when he first started this job too, before he met Sophie, because he missed his family. He’s not someone who can be alone. He needs people. And right now, he doesn’t have that.
My phone buzzes, so I yank it out.
Miles:I’m okay now, I think. Just miss you, though.
It’s a lie. I know in my gut it’s a lie. Miles downplays his pain even though I’ve told him not to.
I grit my teeth.Miles needs me.
The truth washes over me in a rush, but my heart races with the thought of leaving San Diego. If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t even consider it, but this is Miles.MyMiles. The man I love.
He’s worth leaving San Diego for, no matter how it makes me feel.
