On my lunch break, I avoid the cafeteria. Instead, I hide in a corner of the waiting room. It’s quiet and dark, since it’s the middle of the night.
Unable to stop myself, I message Jordan.
Me:Thinking of you. xo
It’s not my usual long, wordy message, but it’s all I have in me.
Almost instantly, my phone buzzes, and Jordan’s face pops up with an incoming video call. I take a breath and swipe to answer, forcing a smile.
“Hey. You’re home early.”
“Hey, yeah. Worked an opening shift again, so I left around nine.” His voice is warm and groggy around the edges, and it feels like a balm to my heart. I needed to hear from him tonight.
“That means you still did a full shift, right? That’s good.”That’s progress.For the last week, he’s been only working a few hours before going home.
“Yeah, I did.” He pauses, brows furrowed. “You okay, hon?”
“Sure. Why?”
“You just sound… I don’t know. Off.”
My fingers tighten around the phone. I almost say it.I got an email. My shift is changing. We’re going to be on completely opposite schedules soon, and I’m heartbroken about it.
Instead, I lie. “It’s just work. Got a lot dumped on me today. It’s busy again.”
It’s not. It’s actually pretty calm tonight.
“Sorry. You want to talk about it?”
No. Yes. God, yes.
But Jordan is clearly exhausted. He has bags under his eyes, and his hair is a mess. Even if his voice is sounding more like the old Jordan and his lips have a slight smile to them, he still might not be okay.
“Nah. It’s nothing unusual. Just stressful patients and doctors thinking they’re kings again.” At least that part is true. Dr. Mullins is in a particularly annoying mood tonight.
Jordan pulls the phone closer. “Where are you? I can hardly see you.”
Shit. There isn’t enough light in this corner.
“Sorry, hold on.” I move to another chair closer to the hall, where it’s still private. “Better?”
His brows knit again, but I cut him off before he can ask if something’s wrong. “Will you stay up for me tonight?”
“Yeah. You sure you’re okay, Miles?”
I fist my hand.Keep it together. Be his anchor.“Yep. Like I said, just a long night here.”
“You sure that’s all it is?”
Damn him for knowing me too well.
I hesitate just a second too long.
“Talk to me, hon. What’s up?”
So I say the only truth I can manage. “I just really miss you. That’s all.”
My voice cracks, and I hate myself for it.
