1
JORDAN
The smell of hot grease and seasoned beef makes my mouth water as I step onto the back patio at Declan’s house. Birds chirp in a nearby tree and a hummingbird flutters near the newly installed feeder. Their sounds are a shallow echo in the recess of my mind. A song slightly out of tune.
Seth flips hamburgers on the barbecue as he listens to his partner, Declan, talk about an upcoming movie they want to see. They’ve both changed from their grungy yard clothes into clean shorts and shirts. Declan is wearing the navy Gooseberries tank I bought him last year at the county fair.
He dips his head back in a laugh. “Don’t say that shit.”
Seth throws a hand up. “What? You know it’s true. They’re going to fuck the movie up. They always do. Books are better.”
Declan rolls his eyes. “When’s the last time you even read a book?”
Seth gasps. “Take that back.”
Declan grins.
“Take it back, Dec. Audiobooksarereading!”
Declan turns to me. “What do you think, Jord? Do audiobooks count as reading?”
Their easy smiles should be a welcome sight after a long couple of days. Instead, it chips away at the hole in my heart.
“I’m with Seth,” I say flatly. “Audiobooks count as reading.”
He gasps. “Traitor.”
“You’re still absorbing the story the way the author intended. It’s reading.”
“It’slistening,”Declan argues.
“It’s astory.”
“Yeah, that you’relisteningto.”
His grin rattles something inside of me, tightening a knot in my chest. It’s been six months since Declan and Seth started dating, and there are still times when their joy triggers an ache I cannot quench. I’m happy for Dec, I truly am. But his happiness shines a spotlight on a part of my life that I’m starting to despise, a vivid reminder of how hollow I’ve become.
Or rather, how hollow I‘ve always been.
I hold two beers out to them, forcing a smile and nodding my head at the barbecue. “That smells amazing.”
Seth beams. “Thanks. Hope you’re hungry. I’m grilling way more than we need.”
Doesn’t he always?“Well, I’m looking forward to it.”
“Hey, it’s the least we could do after all your help,” Declan says, tipping his bottle toward me.
I shrug.
He turns toward Piper, who is relaxing on their brand-new patio swing, feet crossed at the ankles. “You too, Piper. Thank you for helping this weekend. Seriously, guys. We couldn’t have done this without you.”
Piper waves a hand like it’s no big deal. “Oh, I always knew you’d get me back for painting my house. But just so you know, that debt is paid now. In full!”
Declan laughs. “Fair enough.”
Walking over to Piper, I hand her a canned margarita. Declan keeps a few of them around just for her. She smiles before cracking it open, though it doesn’t reach her eyes. Clearly, she is just as exhausted as I am, shoulders slumped and face red from the heat. She’s tied her platinum blonde hair into a ponytail, with a few strands falling loose on the side. The purple hues at the tips match her tank top perfectly, along with the jewels in her oversized white sunglasses. Piper has always had a sense of fashion.
I pull out a chair at the patio table and sink into it, relief washing over me. This weekend has been grueling.
